Social Anxiety Takes Its Toll

After growing up in a highly critical family, my whole life I've suffered from low self-esteem.  I was shy.  I was also an easy target for bullies.  Eventually I just hid away a lot and dealt with years of loneliness.  I'm still not over it.  Medication and therapy help but some days I just struggle to get out there. 
chrism9931 chrism9931
41-45, F
2 Responses Jun 9, 2010

The problem with children who are critizised at home feel so worthless that when bullies at school start they don't feel they have the right to defend themselves as their own parents say similar things.<br />
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I once came across an old bully on a website and sent her a message that I suffer from Post traumatic stress and ended it with 'fatty'.<br />
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She messaged back she had informed the police.<br />
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Well, I laughed all day about that one. Like you can inform the police cos a person called you fat! Also she didn't want the police when she bullied me all those years ago.<br />
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You are not alone in your feelings. Bad experiences as a child and especially in the home can scar a person for life.<br />
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Keep in touch with this website.<br />
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Hugs

The most frequent word my mother used to use about me was "useless".<br />
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I know that she did not mean this now and I get on very well with my mother these days, but I cannot tell you how hurtful it was when I was a child to hear myself referred to in this way, and how horrified I was to find myself making similar disparaging remarks to my daughter in her younger days, when I should have been encouraging her. <br />
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I, too, was an easy target for bullies at school. Lacking in self-esteem, shy, not used to speaking to children (because I lived on a street where few children lived) I spent most of my time at school feeling worthless and hating myself. That is why I am so happy to be here and able to help out other people who are being bullied here.<br />
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You may not yet be in a position to help others here who are being bullied (and many of them are children) but when you are, you will find that this is a wonderful way of dealing with and using your own experiences of being bullied, both by your critical family and the other bullies.<br />
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All the best to you, and if you need to talk, come and find me on one of the threads here.