Not "Run Of The Mill" In The Slightest.

Just saying "I was bullied as a child" is a massive understatement. I was harassed, beaten down, and effectively tortured into submission. My crime? I'm intersexed, was raised as a boy, but too "girly" for the tastes of the kids at school. It didn't start off right off the bat, thankfully. I had a good life in Virginia before 3rd Grade. When my family moved, everything changed.

I was attacked on the walk from home (school only 7 blocks away) by not just one, two, or three bullies... most of the time, it was six or more. Have you ever seen that chimpanzee footage where almost the whole tribe gangs up on one chimp? Yep, that's what it looked like. It wasn't sporadic or random, either. It was daily. It only got worse when I got older. It moved from physical violence to psychological and emotional attacks. I was fine with the physical wounds... those heal. The emotional ones, though... I'm not entirely sure I ever will.

These days, I look back and wonder how the heck I survived all of that without jumping off a bridge or something. Could be that I have a phobia of death as well as I would think that would hurt too much.

There is no prison more horrific than a prison made of your own flesh. There is no torment greater than being reminded of it every day.
PamperedDuchess PamperedDuchess
26-30, F
5 Responses Sep 5, 2011

Keep strong and never give up!!

I was bullied in school. I was alot smaller. One day i had enough. That day was ok after that. I basically started training in every form of martial arts. I was good and feared. But is that what i really wanted...Then joined military 4 combat tours later and pstd i survived...I think it matters what you do with that negative energy put towards you. I always defened the weak and helpless after that. Wether made the right choice i survived Ty for post.

-I also suffered from bullying and I would never start a fight, but there were many times that it was a male struggle for dominance in the group of males and as the new one in a group, which happened many times to me, they thought I was a threat and I would have to fight. I have been ganged up on as well, where I made a deal with the leader, I told him he could hit me in the stomach as hard as he wants if I didn't have to fight his gang. He agreed and it was done. That was one, but there were many ,more. Some even drew knives on me, even as an adult when I was in the military in the NCO club for dinner, or when I was new in the barracks, where after I took several shots to the face, I then ducked and delivered a front side kick to his chest nearly stopping his heart. That kick took the fight right out of him. I've almost killed several men when they attacked me. Karate does the trick and I suggest you learn it and take control of your life, while giving yourself confidence, so you don't have to live with fear. I wish luck.

--spankbudy

Hey, I admit that I've no idea how it feels to have any sort of gender struggle. I've always been male and had no doubts. The bullying however, that I sure can understand. I had many forms of bullying from very young. I hated school and life in general. I too, have no idea how I survived it but I have and believe it or not it has made me a better person for it. To know and understand the pain of bullying, loneliness, self hating, desperation to go unnoticed, just for one day. When you know that pain, you know how important the way you treat others is. Some day, you will find your 'someone' and life will sort itself out. Just hang in there.

Your very strong and I like girls like you not afraid to speak out and admit personal things I wish I found a girl like that

It didn't come cheap. I paid a hell of a price for my strength. There are days I don't feel so strong... those are the days it'd be nice to have someone. *sigh*

I know what you mean