I Hated School... I Hated Summer Camps...

I was always bulled. from k-12th grade.

When I was younger I was teased for many things... the size of my ears...the way that I walked... talked... any little thing... Dads advice was always the same "If you ignore it and pretend that it dosent bother you then they will stop" So I tried ignoring them... and it didnt make them stop, it made them try even harder. At school, I would be bullied to the point of tears as a child! There were times where the people incharge of summer camp and even my teachers would jump in and make fun of me too!

And no matter what I would do to fit in it would never work. I would get made fun of for having higher grades than others... so I would do like them and stop caring and getting F's in hopes that it would make them accept me... didnt work, I was then labled a dumbass. I have been called alot of things through out my schooling years... a cry baby... a *****... a ******... a queer... an Oreo (If you do not know what oreo means, its a racial term basicaly saying that you are black on the outside but white on the inside). I have been called a white boy and outcasted by kids of my own race because I acted like I had some common sence. tried to act more like them to fit in and it never worked...

And in school there is no where to run or hide... teachers dont give a damn... They would rather not get involved. and it realy sucks when as a child of about 8 you not only have to deal with kids and teachers bullying you but you also have to put up with your mothers abusive boyfriend who would beat you over the littlest things... and yell... and beat. One of them broke a glass bowl on my knee... another use to beat me in the back with his belt till I blistered... and once he even threw his car keys at me busting my head open.

Then there was mom and her verbal abuse... Then there was high school.... The worst years of my life... The other kids treated me like absolute ****! I was dating a girl at the time and some guys came up to me asking me if I was "hitting that" (having sex with her) And I told them "No, its about more than sex and I am waiting till marriage to have sex"... I have never seen people laugh so hard at me in my life when I said that. Even girls kinda gave me wierd looks for saying that... A year or so ago a ******* preacher laughed at me for saying I was waiting till I was married to have sex and that I was a virgin!!! He and a great uncle of mine questioned my sexuality...

you wana know the worst of all this bulling ****?? I ran into some guys in high school who use to bully me in grade school. They didnt recognize who I was and they didnt recognize me. We were on the city bus talking and laughing. getting along pretty well... Then we introduced ourselves to each other... Then they remembered who I was, brought up some embarrising **** about my past and how they use to bully me and I said "yeah well thats all in the past guys so lets just..." Then I was interrupted... they ignored me completly. They picked up where they left off from bulling me those years before. Everyone on that bus laughed at me...

You wana know what effect this has had on me??

I ******* hate people.... People make me sick to my ******* stomach. I had done nothing to these people to deserve this kind of treatment! NOT A DAMN THING! I dont trust people... I have become even more introverted than I was as a child. O but mark my word... one day those ******* will need me. Those kids who bullied me... Those teachers who told me I wouldnt be ****... My ***** of a mother who actually had the nerve to text me this morning telling me to call her because she missed me... I didnt call her and I wont... These people may need me one day and you know what I am going to do?! I am going to LAUGH!!! I will laugh in their faces! I will not lift a finger... instead, I will watch as they struggle with whatever it is that they struggle with! This is what happins when teachers or anyone for that matter sticks up for the little bullied kid and they dont kill themselves... They become a little... screwy. One minute im happy and the next I am depressed. 1 minute I love myself, the next I disgust myself... one minute I believe that all people deserve to be treated fairly... then the next I think "Hey... I wasnt treated fairly... why the **** should I give a damn about other people or their ******* feelings?!"

My head hurts. This is why I try to ignore my past because it makes my head hurt. Gona go play video games to help calm myself down.
Krie Krie
3 Responses Jan 27, 2012

I may be typically over emotional however this made me cry. I'm not sure what part made me cry but just by the way you wrote it I can feel this was all bottled up.

wow that was really awful what everyone did to you. lol By then I would have punch at least half of them right in the face!

Haha I should have. Instead I kinda bottled all that stuff I went through as a child and now take meds for depression. O well, atleast now the past is easy to deal with ^_^

That was a powerful exposee on your life, and i understand your feelings. I am now an 18 year old woman, who is not the quiet, scrawny, or nerdy east indian girl I used to be. I used to be called a terrorist in an all-white school where my twin sister and I were the only colored people. We were spat upon, beaten and thrown into the school parking lot, and we hid and ate lunch in the school bathroom for every single ******* day for a whole 2 years. Teachers, friends....no one helped enough to care. So we helped ourselves....<br />
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Today, i am a strong, confident and vivacious teenager. I am multi-talented, tall and feminine and i refuse to be told by someone that i am worth less than them. I am an artist and still just as intelligent as i used to be. However, this change didnt just come about on its own. My life was distraught. I lived in the darkness, loneliness and tears of desperation for many many years before one realization came to me... "I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR MY OWN HAPPINESS!" . No random idiot who is insecure of their own many flaws, lack of intelligence and good character was going to convince me that I was worthless. Instead, this game was going to turn around! I was going to show them just what i was made of! and not by using petty violence or insults and disgrace, but I was going to reinvent myself into the most emotionally strong and calm, untouchable and indestructable woman. <br />
I would not cry when they insulted me, i would not fall when they pushed me, and most of all, I would not let them touch me or come close to me without letting them know that they would be direly sorry for raising their hands at me. <br />
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I am a beautiful girl now...inside and out. I am no longer a victim! And this is not because my bullies decided they didnt want to torture me anymore, but rather, because I decided that I was not going to let them control me and my life. I was my own ******* human being, beautiful and empowered in every way, just as God intended me to be. So i took my own strength and happiness into my hands and stood up to them. I told them that i was not afraid of anyone and that these bullies who think they are so flawless and strong, should go home and reflect in their sleep on what kinds of people they are; what kinds of human beings take out their own hatred of themselves and the brunt of their ****** lives on others? And that was that!<br />
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I am successful. And you can be too. Never lose strength good friend. Be strong, be pure and know that others always hate good people for embodying the most beautiful and honorable things in life which they themselves cannot achieve. These bullies tease you for being a virgin and for being quiet and shy, well these virtues are things they will never understand. Only people like you and I, who are innately good hearted and natured people will understand. So make the conscious choice today, like I did, NOT to let these jerks and scum run your life for you. Take your happiness into your own hands! And i promise, no one can give you more strength and peace of mind than yourself!<br />
I am always with you dear friend, whoever you are. Im standing right behind you in spirit and somewhere, your luck will change and life will bring you many happinesses. Now go and stand up for your right!

Thank you for your words of encouragement, I needed that and I believe that you are correct. Now is the time to put an end to this.