High School & Early College Bullying Survivor

I, too, am a bullying survivor. I was bullied on a few occasions - years ago in high school, when I was in a sorority during my sophomore year of college, and on another occasion over the past few years. They were the most painful experiences I have ever been through in my entire life. I had gossip/rumors spread about me/can remember laughter I was subjected to - can remember exactly how certain individuals made me feel. The reason I was bullied? Simply for being someone who was somewhat socially awkward and had trouble with social dynamics. It took me over ten years to deprogram myself from messages that I internalized through times of being bullied. Eventually you see people who abused you as they are - sick and cruel - and you simply drop them from your life and surround yourself with people who aren't abusive. After deprogramming your subconscious mind from internalized messages from traumatic moments, all that is left to feel is true peace, empowerment, happiness, and clear vision.
LaurenEmily739 LaurenEmily739
31-35, F
2 Responses Oct 14, 2013

I admit I may have been through a bullying a lot in my whole life. I thinks it was started when I'm in 3rd grade in elementary school when I suddenly had to move to other cities. The main reason was because I am come from different place and as a kid it was hard for me to get used to new environment, new school and new classmates. They made it even harder with their cold and harsh attitude, I felt really unwelcome and rejected by then.
That experience had resulted me the way I am now. a social awkward and hard to even accept friend let alone trust people. For years I tried to run away from reality and indulge myself in fantasy world although still maintain my common sense.
Once I entered college, at first I thought, this is it, this is a new start. However, I never expected there too many unreasonable adults or maybe a grade schoolers stuck in the body of adults.
It's even harder to do a team work in college than in high school and geez, I wonder why...I always thought college was the place for people with high intelligence and morality, not a stuck-up brat but it seems I was wrong after all.

Bullying often leads to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Its important that you find out if you had PTSD as a result of your experiences. EMDR (eye movement desensitization re-processing) is a really effective way to get rid of some of the ingrained beliefs that bullying instills in you. I finally went through a number of sessions this year and I can't tell you what a difference its made.