The Unexpected Felon

I was born in 1991 to a father who was a wealthy functioning alcoholic (he was a real estate developer who would drink beer starting at around 10 am most days) and a mother who loved her husband, loved being a wife, and hated being a mother. Both of my parents were loving but aloof, preferring to let me do what i wanted instead of keeping an eye on me. Much of my childhood/young adulthood was spent trying to force my parents to acknowlege me. I did this not by rebelling and getting in to trouble but by getting straight a's, keeping my room clean and holding down a wonderful job all through high school. I was valedictorian, a manager at my job, living on my own, paying my own way, and generally living a good, clean life.
When i graduated high school i enrolled in college and stayed a semester only before i felt burned out and dropped out. To fill the time that i would normally have spent in school, i got a job working for wells fargo bank. I loved my job as a teller but since it was part time i could not afford to quit my management job. I worked about 60 hours a week on average but LOVED IT. My biggest mistake at this point was blowing my money instead of saving it for emergencies. I was bringing home about 1700 a month when i was 18 and felt like i was invincible.
At the beginning of 2011 it seemed like one thing after another started to happen to me. In january my car was broken into and my my laptop and my wallet that had a newly-cashed check in it (nearly 1000) were taken. I had just re-enrolled in college at this time and bought a new car. I had tons of bills to pay so i got an advance on my paycheck and bought a new laptop, fell behind on some bills, and suddenly was struggling to keep my head above water. I persevered and eventually felt as though i had a handle on it. Then i got hit by a deer. My car was financed and i thought i was contractually obligated to immediately pay to get the damaged side fixed. There went 500. Then my school sent me a bill for 876 dollars that apparently wasnt covered by my student aid. I couldnt pay that one all at once so i set up a payment plan but forgot about it.
In july of 2011 i found out i was pregnant. My boyfriend at the time bailed immediately and suddenly i had tons of debt, rent, utilities, food, and a million other payments as well as a baby on the way.
The proverbial straw that broke the camels back came in august when i lost my management job due to a company merger. The person who had the same job as me had more experience so i was the one let go. Now i was down about half of my income, drowning in debt, and too proud to ask the parents who had ignored me as a child for help.
Then out of the blue the advance i had taken out from my job was due immediately. Instead of letting me pay it back in payments, they simply didnt give me my paycheck which was money i had been counting on. They were legally able to do this according to the advance contract i had (stupidly) signed.
In a moment of EXTREME panic, i went to the bank one morning, took a bundle and a half of 100$ bills, showed my drawer was short and waited for my theft to catch up to me. In the meantime i had paid my rent, car payment, and gone to my first pre-natal appointment. My electricity was on for one more month and i finally felt like i could breathe again, even if only for a little while.
To be clear, i never expected to get away with my theft. I worked for a bank, stole cash, and broke my employers trust in me...how could i possibly have expected to get away with stealing 1500 dollars? But i was young and naive and expected that my theft would be discovered and i would have to pay it back and it would be over. No big deal.
but it was a big deal. I was fired and 6 months later charged with felony grand theft. By this time i was 8 months pregnant, had a job and a cheap apartment and stupidly thought that my nightmare was over. I had sold my car and paid the money back but since wells fargo wanted justice, i was convicted with a felony.
I am now the mother of a gorgeous son, a convicted felon at the ripe old age of 20, and alone. My parents who were at one time merely aloof are now out of my life, my name was smeared in the dirt in the local newspaper, my friendsdont trust me and wont talk to me. All because of one stupid *** mistake i made when i was 19, scared to death, and panicked. Luckily for my son and i i do still have my job.
The light at the end of my tunnel is the fact that when my probation is over in 2 years, idaho has immediate expungement laws for first time, non violent offenders who went through probation with no violations.
My faith in God is strong at this point and i am trusting him to help me focus on the positive to make it through this with my head held high and a bright future for me and my son. If i can do this, i can do anything!
raeneyday raeneyday
18-21
May 14, 2012