My story is simple but has a reason to be shared. I was convicted in 2012 on a aggravated DUI felony. I new I was in trouble, could feel it in my soul down to the very core. I was messed up I came off 3 day binge, talked to a lawyer and he told me to get some help.So I attended AA for the first time with a desperate attempt to change my life because I was scared, broken and just plain miserable with life.
I have not had a drink for some time or drug in me for sometime now. I am still struggling though because I still have these thoughts in me when I was drinking. I have met some one in AA. She is wonderful but how can I love her if I cant love myself. I want to lash out at her not physically but with my words, I have made her cry before because I say some awful things ,deep down I know she loves me. I want to leave just for the simple reason to punish myself and break off the relationship because pain is all I know. I know I need help I always felt I never fit in even as a child I had bad thought of harming myself. I know what it is like to experience being f******over by some one I trust and love at a very young age. I tell you there is nothing like it. It is like being hit in the head with an invisible sledgehammer. I drank because it made me feel good but I never delt with that pain. I have to move forward and make the best for me not for you or my neighbor or my girlfriend. Some one had told me me that my pain is my greatist tool. I sure hope so because I do not know what to do with it!
responsible1 responsible1
46-50, M
1 Response Dec 17, 2013

I know how you feel , I didn't get a felony but could have