The Concept Of People As Energy

This is an idea that fascinates me...


At this stage in life I can honestly say that I have never felt professionally better, mentally stronger or more emotionally starved and strangled.

Start with the home front I guess... married for more than a decade years to a talented woman who unfortunately is overrun by her various depressive conditions and likely underlying Borderline/Narcissistic Personality Disorder. She musters up the energy to do a great job with the children but I am a mere afterthought, a target for rages, and mostly left alone because she is "tired" - boy does one get to fear the T word.

So coming home from my work (which most people would consider to be extremely fun) I go from lively energy environment to a borderline morose, flatline energy scene which- because of my nature- makes me flatline and withdraw mentally.

I interact with a wide variety of people for work and when there is someone in front of me with good energy I can spot it quickly and my "engine" fires up and I can be really witty and provacative and have fun with language AND get my way for the good of the business. If I sense a lack of intelligence, bad energy etc I usually will shut down or if in a bad mood I will be frosty, cruel or cleverly demeaning - just for my own amusement sometimes.

It's as if I have a set level of "energy" (intelligence, confidence, creativity???) that has allowed me to progress as far as I have but there are no limits when I am around other people's strong energy (and I can tap into it). I often have thought I would have been great in a comedy writing team as I feel good working in groups of like minded people who have fun with language and see the world as one big humor opportunity.

Sometimes I view myself as an orb moving through life with tentacles outstretched to the other orbs who can give me more energy and make me glow "hotter" - I know it sounds strange but hey - it is my dime here ;)
Pontiuspalate Pontiuspalate
46-50
Mar 20, 2013