The "me Too" Club

Hi Friends. So sorry for the incredible loss you all feel. This is a lousy club to be in. However, talking with people and sharing experiences does help. I'm 50 and lost my husband 2 years ago after 26 years of marriage. It's still tough, and while I keep busy during the days, nights are long and lonely and I think too much. I'm don't feel like the same person I was 2-3 years ago, and haven't figured this new one out yet! Thank you all for sharing your stories. They are all painful to hear, and even though each of our experiences is unique, it does help to know we are not alone.

PaulaDi PaulaDi
46-50, F
4 Responses Dec 7, 2009

Hello,<br />
My husband passed away July 14, 2010 of prostate cancer. I am still so very sad. We were togather for 20 wonderful years. He was 75 when he left this world and I am 69. We had a very loving relationship. I miss us being in each others arms. And looking into his beautiful blue eyes. I love very much. It is very hard trying to deal with all the grief and guilt. I was his total caregiver. I do alot of crying. Thanks Joy

My heart just goes out to you. I can relate to some of that pain. It is so difficult as we re-live and re-live what happened, especially near and at the end. I've had a terrible time sleeping since June of this year. My healthy husband, normal weight, active, watched his diet...went to skin and bones in 8 months, struggling for breath, knowing the day that would be his last. I have strong support from church, family and friends but no one except those who have experienced this can begin to understand all the feelings, and the changes that happen in moment. Who wants to listen to you cry? I dread the long nights, have trouble sleeping, wonder what to do in this quiet house without the one I loved and had by my side for 41 yrs. I miss him desperately. He was a wonderful husband and has been there for me in every way since I was 19 yrs. old. Everything is a reminder of him. My children are wonderful but they go on with their lives. I do not work, but spend quite a bit of time with my grandchildren when they are not in school. Two small dogs keep me company. It's just all so different. So much to adjust to and I wonder how long before I can feel something normal again. Thanks for "listening." I will be praying for every widow. I know God hears our breaking hearts and I know he has something for me - to help others - as soon as I can gather a bit more strength. I do know my husband wouldn't trade heaven for this earth and I am happy for him. Just sad for me as I wish we were together. Always thought we'd grow old together or at least that I'd go first. Couldn't imagine it happened the other way around.

Hi, it seems I have been here before, in the beginning, but i dont remember. My husband died last year, in April, one brutal month from diagnosis to passing, one horrific evening spent in the hospital watching while he passed. I am desperate for some friendship of someone who understands, I am kinda floundering around because i have never been here before and those who have not been through it have not understanding, despite their best efforts. I struggle still, with great pain, at the way, the brutality of his going, I have guilt about some things, and still, after nearly a year and a half, feel the pain of his pain and helplessness at not being able to stop the suffering. He was an awsome, brave and strong man, I miss him still. I just have a burning wish to have just one friend I can call on, spend time with, who understands what I am feeling. I also have a desperate fear of being alone for the rest of my life. Sometimes I am completely at a loss as to what i am going to do to function in this world for the rest of my life.

i too am trying to work out who i am now without my husband, i find myself single after 27 years together at 45 and have no idea who this person is.<br />
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i was 16 when i met my husband and have never been alone, i have two wonderful kids but at times they tire me so much with the sole responsiblity of raising them, i never knew how hard it was to be a single parent. at least if you are divorsed your ex has some input<br />
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i am waiting for the tiredness of life to lift, but 18 months on and it is still so hard<br />
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i agree it is comforting to know we are not alone<br />
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what i would give for one day of feeling normal again with out this burden of grief and lonleyness <br />
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god that sounds so negative and depressing but that is life