Working Hard For My Baby Girl

I am a young single mother . I am educated and work very hard to provide for my baby girl. I am a devoted Chrisitan, work 40 hours a week at a non-profit organization, and I am a full-time student going for my doctorate in psychology. Along with all of my other responsibilities my daughter is on top of the list, of course. She is my love, my light, and my life. I would and will do whatever it takes to ensure that she has all of the opportunities and things that she deserves.

 The "father" (and I use that term extremely loosely) is a joke! I had this bad habit of dating guys who I thougth I could "fix" or "help" in some way...unfortunately for me I had to learn the hard way that this dream never works.

Anyway...I wound up pregnant and quickly realized that I was on my own. The "father" would call me occassionally during my pregnancy (usually at 2 or 3 a.m.) to harrass me and threaten me, so I cut all communication while I was pregnant, I already had enough stress without adding his immature bs to the list. Once my daughter was born I allowed the "father" to come and visit with her at my house (I moved back in with my mother) as long as my mother was present. I didnt want him to do anything to harm the baby, and my mother intimidates him so that was my rule. The only other thing that I asked of him was that he call and set us these visits in advance instead of just popping in (which he did anyway).

I wouldnt allow him to take her with him since he is a drug addict/liar and is EXTREMELY immature and reckless. Well, of course, none of this was enough for him. He doesnt have a job, but he lives off of a trust fund. Somehow though he just never has the money or resources to provide for his daughter. He has never given her a diaper, wipe, or a penny to me to help make sure that she has all the things that a baby needs (or even offered for that matter).

His parents owned an extremely successful business and he has been spoiled all throughout his life. He doesnt know the meaning of the word "no" and will call and yell, cuss, and threaten me simply because things aren't going his way. I am sick of all of this, it has been going on since I became pregnant and my daughter is now almost a year old!!! The only reason he wants to take her with him is to act like "Mr. Father of the Year" to his extended family and druggie friends.

A week before Christmas I got served with court papers, he is suing me for custody!!!! I am devastated and worried sick! My daughter deserves to know him, I am not arguing that, I just want her to be safe and well taken care of. I have been assured by my attorney that he will not get custody of her but will more than likely be appointed supervised visitations. Although supervised visits are better than many of the alternatives, I am still worried sick about my baby. His supervised visitations will no doubt be with his mother present, who knows even less about children than he does (she always had a nanny). Actually his mother dropped my daughter when she came to visit a few months ago! I am not a vengeful, hateful person, I just want my daughter to be safe. Of course the thought of her having to be away, even for visitation purposes, breaks my heart. I know though that she needs to at least know him so that one day she can make her own judgments about him (I decided a long time ago that I would not influence her nor talk bad about him to anyone, the only person that any of that would hurt would be my daughter eventually). Unfortunately, the "father" is too immature not to talk about me or my family. He goes around the community (I live in a small town), and is constantly making up these insane rumors, and telling everyone how I will not let him see his daughter, etc. I have kept my mouth shut that he and  his "rich" family hasn't even offered his daughter a single thing, and several of the other incidences that have happened...I am starting to wonder why I do this though. I have to remind myself that I do it all for my daughter, someday she will understand that I am keeping my mouth shut for her, because I know that the more drama that is started will be worse for her.

 I am so frustrated, stressed, and simply tired!!