Most of my friends that are stepmoms do nothing but complain about their steps. In my case the bio mom passed away so she is not in their lives, so I do think it's easier than when the bio mom is involved. But here are my tips on raising stepkids.
1. Don't force yourself on them. Go slow and let them learn to respect you.
2. Be their friend, you are not their mom so let the other parent be the disciplinarian.
3. Don't sweat the small stuff.
4. Respect them as individuals and show them you care.
5. Be kind but don't smother them.
6. Guide them into making good choices and let them make their own decisions.
7. Even when you have a bad day...never let them see it.
8. And show them love!!
Redneckmom1992 Redneckmom1992
22-25, F
4 Responses Aug 18, 2014

Awesome and thanks for being a good one! I grew up with not such a good one. I am a step father of 3. Love them as my own!

I'd suggest tweaking number 7 to "Even when you have a bad day...never take it out on them."


My observation is that kids get a better sense of life when they get to be a part of it, as opposed to living in a sterilized world. When kids see the adults in their lives having to deal with stressful situations, it gives them a better appreciation for the fact that life isn't easy. Once they realize this, they become more empathetic when someone close to them has a bad day and more likely to work through problems in any kind of relationship, instead of just bailing when a usually good situation takes a hard turn.


On the flip side, when the adults have to break things down and explain what's going on to the kids, it has the unexpected side-effect of helping the grown-up(s) find the best way to get through it.

Excellent advice for any relationship.

so true about the love believe it or not but a lot of parents do not show or give any of it and allso they try to make there kids be this or that they don't allow them to be themm and grow in a way that is right for them