Bless The Jambalaya Of Interplanetary Craft

T here's a lot of things I love , some more recent than others (Jon Brion, Guinness, Peruvian chicken, 16 yo chicks), some things I have loved since I was a kid (bacon, pancakes, frosted flakes, grand pianos).  But if there's one thing to add to the list, which I have loved as far back as I can remember, it is the motherfu**in' CARPENTERS.

My parents listen to a sh*tload of oldies but goodies - in fact, when I was growing up, the only radio station they would ever listen to was KEarth 101.  Actually, that still hasn't changed even 2 decades later.  I have to say, though, the amazing thing about the Carpenters (besides Karen's heavenly voice and Richard's kickassic piano chops and overall craft at songwriting) is that there isn't a single song of theirs that I dislike.  I mean, even my most favorite artists have at least a few songs where I'm like, "Seriously?  You can do better than that!" (examples: Muse - Undisclosed Desires, Led Zeppelin - D'yer Mak'er, Queen - the entire Hot Space album minus Under Pressure).

I pretty much am completely gay/retarded for the Carpenters.  I have no idea what it's like to be a parent (much less love someone/something more than myself), but from what I hear - a lot of parents essentially turn gay/retarded for their children.  This tends to manifest itself when they talk to other parents, bragging about how Timmy or Boberta were able to ski at the age of 2, drive a forklift while blind-folded, and proceed to document said achievements in a picassa web album containing more pictures than the entire population of China...times 20.

But, man, I seriously love the Carpenters.  I can't imagine going karaoke without singing at least one of their songs.  I also can't imagine going on a road trip without my Carpenters Gold 35th Anniversary Edition CD set.  My love for the genius-ness that is the Carpenters is so great that I would have no regrets breaking up with a girl if she was not down with them.

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Me: Whoa, you're Megan Fox!
Megan: That I am.
Me: So are you a fan of the Carpenters?
Megan: Hell no!  But I am a fan of having sex.  Are you interested?
Me: F you, I'm outta here.