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The Most Beautiful And Kindest Bird In The World, Romeo

Today was the worst day of my life as it was the day that I lost my baby and best buddy Romeo at only two years old.
He was the last cockatiel of the 4 I have but the only one who I got as a baby and raised myself. He became more than a bird but more like my own child whom I loved and cared and was very protective of. The saddest tho about his death is that I was responsible for it, the one that always told him I would never let any thing happen to.
How this happened is that lately he had been getting under one of the rocking chair couches in my living room and I had been trying to get him to stop cause I didn't want him to get crushed. I came home today from school and had a lot to do s after cleaning up after my birds I began cleaning my house and my birds were on the panel that holds the blinds in my living room windows really relaxed. I wen outside to put clothes in the washer and when I came in to get more clothes I saw that I hadn't put the pillow on one of the rocking chairs so as I was going thei to put it in its place my bird Romen came out of nowhere and attacked my foot. I was genuinely scared and surprised cause I didn't know he was down there. I didn't have enough time to think and I pulled my foot down and I didn't mean to but where I was going to place it to get it away from him he charged at it still on the growing and I stepped on him. I yelled so so loud and looked down and I had hurt him, hus foot seemed a little behind he wing and he was was laying tiring to get up but I saw the pain and I called my mom because I knew he was hurt and I didn't know what to do. When I went to get him he was dying with his neck dangling. I called a vet to get assistance and so they could tell me what to do and she told me to keep him stable in a box he fit in and I did but he wasn't moving with one eye open and the other halfway closed and his mouth open. I began to bawl tear and couldn't stop and began to pray that he would be okay cause my mom was on her way to take him to the Vet hospital that was ten minutes way. I was so desperate and sad as I saw him just lay there, when we got there the lady I the front took him to the back and when she came out she said they could detect a pulse or hear him breathe. A part of me died then and there. He was everything to me, my best friend my little baby who cared so muc about the other birds, how am I supposed to live knowing that the little person I loved with all my heart and cared for and saw him fly for the first time ended up chin because o me when all I ever wanted was to keep him safe. I have been crying since around 2:00pm this after noon now it's 8:00 pm.... When ever he saw me sad or cryin he was the one to sing to me jingle bells and happy birthday, the songs I taugh him as a little baby
I don't know how to deal with the guilt and anger I have for myself even though my mom and sister keep telling me it was an accident. It doesn't feel like it, I should have been careful, my poor little baby, my little Romeo who always made me smile with his little head feathers that parted like two antennas. He had so much personality and was such an amazing joy to be around. Everyday of his existence was beautiful, he let me see the beauty and innocence of the world. He came to my life when my depression was at its worse and I thought there was nothing left to live for. I can't believe that was his death and that I was th one to cause it. I miss him so so so much right now, and I can see my other birds do too. I love them just as much but there was a special connection between Romeo and me from the very first time I saw him. I can already feel the emptiness inthe house but as my mom told me I have to stay stron and take care of m other birds because then they will get depressed too and that is the last thing I want.
Goodbye my baby boy you will always be missed and will forever live in my heart. Your existence has not disappeared because I will never forget you. I hope that you can forgive me. I'm sure your in heaven making everyone fall in love with you.
Rest in peace and never ever forget that I loved you and will forever continue to love you.
Lorraine21 Lorraine21 18-21 2 Responses Apr 20, 2012

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I am so sorry for your loss. You're a good person and you made a mistake. He is lucky to have known love.

i'm so sorry..though his life was short, his impact is life long. HUGS!!

Thank you it means a lot