I Crushed My Poor Duckling One Morning And It Still Makes Me Feel Like A Bad Person.

When I was about 9 years old I had this habit of going to my lake and taking ducklings. I would just grab one and run away. I thought I would give them a better home if I took it home. I would dedicate all my free time to the ducklings. I would then put them back in a crowd of ducklings and just go home after that. But one day I wanted to have a little sleepover with the cutest little duckling I ever caught. I remember him having the purplest little beak, it was just the cutest thing.
I would sleep at the top part of a bunk bed and i brought it up with me (of course nobody in my family would notice) and i kissed it goodnight and maybe even talked to the cute little duckling.

I just fell asleep for the whole night.

When I woke up, ready to take the duckling back to the lake, I couldn't find him, I was scared maybe it fell from the bed, to my horror, it was much worse.

Under my bedsheets, there it was, the little duckling with his eyes closed. I had crushed him. :(

I couldnt stop crying. I felt like such a bad person. I didn't want him to die. I did the only thing I thought was right and I put him in a nice shoebox and buried him by the lake.

Its been 10 years I think since that happened and the image and realization of what had happened remains fresh in my head. Animal death gets me pretty sad.

(looked like this little guy)
draev draev
22-25, F
1 Response Aug 13, 2012

I carried the weight of sadness about an animal I'd killed as a child with me for a very long time (although I finally have had catharsis about it now thanks to an anon internet person or few). All I can say is, you didn't intend for this to happen, and the distress for the duckling would have been incredibly brief, and you undoubtedly learnt from that experience (even if the cost of the lesson was high). RIP duckling.

Aw thank you so much for taking the time to comment on my story. Yes its sad and whenever I think about it, I dunno I feel like it was the end of my existence. However, I did learn about not taking animals out of their natural environment, and just let life live on... naturally. Now I have three cats, and a dog under my wing and I would do anything for them! Have a nice day!