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Heartache

We had our little chocolate brown, sweet as could be Dashaund for a little over two years. We have a 5 year old daughter and she is an only child, we cannot have anymore children. So our Copper was particularly special to her. Her best friend. Our daughter was gone with her grandparents out of town. We have been painting our house and doing other home improvements this summer, so while she was gone we really tried to get alot done. I had been painting all day and my husband got home from work and helped me finish up what I was working on. While he was finishing, I decided I would go get dinner. Copper was wondering around my car and my hubby hollered to me to take him with me. I never took him with me, he was such a home body dog. And when my daughter was gone, he usually laid in his bed and pouted. I got home with the food, and he was so quiet, I totally forgot about him. We noticed later he wasn't around, ran around the neighborhood looking for him. Then all the sudden it hit me. I ran to the car in a panic. He was under a seat, and he just looked like he was sleeping. I through him in the bathtub screaming, he still seemed alive. I tried to run cold water on him, do cpr for about 45 minutes and husband kept saying to me, he's gone. I was completely devastated for days. My daughter was such a trooper about it. I was so worried she would be so sad for a long time. She is taking it in stride. I wasn't going to, but I told her the truth about what happened. I called my parents screaming and crying and that's when I learned my Dad had accidently ran over my childhood dog. He didn't have the heart to tell us he had done it back then, and in a wierd way it made me feel better. I finally feel like it's gonna be ok, even though I miss him everyday. It's been a month.
missmycopper missmycopper 36-40, F 3 Responses Aug 25, 2012

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It is an absolutely horrible thing to go through. The guilt will weigh heavy on you for awhile. Time. Time is the only cure I think. It's been over a year and I miss him terribly. We've got another dog now. He's been very healing. I just tell myself to not let his death be in vain and to be always present. It's also motivated me to take better care of myself so I can take better care of my family. Thoughts and prayers with all who have gone through this.

thank you so much. i have so much shame. i don't know how i will tell people. they will think i'm a monster. i don't want to talk to anybody that i know and I'm the extrovert. my husband is the introvert. my dog's pic is all over facebook. all my friends know her because i took her everywhere. all the kids at my kids' very small school played with her twice a week in the afternoons because the school let me bring her when i monitored the playground. I thought I was an animal psychic, that I could talk to animals. I'm just a fraud and I don't know how I can be a good mom to my kids.

what you said about "not let her death be in vain and always be present" is ringing loudly in my ears.

Me too. Yesterday. We have 3 kids and all of them are telling *me* that it's going to be okay. I loved that dog so much. How can I forgive myself?

With heartfelt sympathy. I am going through the same thing and understand your pain. Message me if you want to talk. I know i sure would like someone to talk to. I miss my girl everyday, and can't get her image out of my head from her last day. I know she lived life to the fullest up until that dreadful day, but I feel responsible for my lapse in memory and for taking my darling girl away from my family and those that knew and loved her far before her time. I know it was an accident, but know an accident like this can never happen again. Hugs.