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My Heart Is Aching - a Story About My Dog Gus

I need some help from those of you who've also killed their family pet by accident.   I have (had) three dogs  all rescued from the humane society. I love each and every one of them with all of my heart.  This week, I took them for a ride in the car to drop off my son. When I returned to my home,  I somehow was distracted - still not sure how or why, but two of the dogs got out of the car and poor Gus was left in the car. Unfortunately it was 95 degrees.   Several hours later, when my husband returned home from work, he asked me where Gus was.  I said I think he's got to be here somewhere...all of a sudden I thought "oh God, please don't tell me I left him in the car". When I ran out to see, he was slumped in the biggest pile of druel and puke I'd ever seen in my Black, HOT car.  I roasted my poor buddy to death.  I am SO distraught and griefsticken,not to mention the extreme guilt, that I don't know how to cope.  It was so unintential and I know it's happened to other people. I am so mad at myself for not noticing.  I feel SO sad that he suffered so much and he was so helpless!!!  This also was my little boy"s special dog that he picked out. Any support is welcome as I feel I will need trauma counseling for this.  I have lived a life without regret for 40 years, ,but this I regret more than anything I've ever done.  

melanyheart melanyheart 36-40 55 Responses Aug 5, 2009

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Hi there I know the pain you are going through you have to forgive yourself,,,My dog Neko attacked me July 21/2015, I was hurt quit bad,my hubby came home saw all the blood,took me to the hospital drooped me off left me with no money no way home no support of any kind,I was crying in pain the pain was horrible,i cried and asked my hubby to stay with me but he would not,my dog was hurt he had a sore paw so i called my and me vet wound't see him because i stilled owed $200,for saving my other dogs eye,it cost about $1,000,,,I also foster blind and deaf dogs for years now ,I take the dogs nobody wants age etc..I stayed at the hospital all day got stitches shot etc,nexted thing I know my hubby is driving in out of the hospital parking lot yelling at me to come to Neko he is dead i killed him, well i fainted had a complete brake down,never cried like that before,so after i got home i kicked him out and called coast and the police SPCA,it took them 2 days before i could have him arrested, they took him to a mental clinic where he spent several weeks ,I made him bring my dog home for burial,,,My hubby had suffered a complete brake down and is in therapy everyday they say i must forgive him and move on and be there for my hubby who has post manic stress disorder really bad ,so he is attending teat meant,but what about me all i do is cry everyday I miss him so much just think of how he killed him he must of been so scared his best friend killing him makes me cry,but because i am on ODSP i can't afford to leave my hubby with out income for a place,so sad i am stuck and very sad Rose and i have no friends and i am very deppressed, so I do know what your going through i feel responsible for not staying with my dog after the bite,i hate my vet i told him he is heartless i tried everybody no body would see him,I almost lost my other pets due to his actions,please take care of yourself Rose

I am so happy to have run into your story. I have lived with guilt for 10 years about the possibility of rolling over my pet bird when I was asleep. I had my peach face lovebird for about 8 years, since I was in middle school. He was my everything....best friend and all. He seemed more like a human than anything to me. One night before going to bed, I kind of noticed how different he was acting...like quiet. So I was mothering him and had him sleep on the pillow. Sometimes, I have him sleep with me because he loves sleeping under the covers (He was spoiled lol) but I always made sure he was not somewhere where I could roll over him. That morning....I will never forget. I was calling his name and usually he would chirp and come to me. He didn't. I kept calling and calling until finally I pulled back the covers and his body fell out of the covers and my heart just stopped and I just cried and cried. I was so shocked and in disbelief. I didn't know what to do. This was a family bird as well. So many emotions came across me and I felt like I was going to die. I know it may sound weird for some people who don't care much for animals like that but I loved my baby. My husband was at work and I called him telling him what happened and I said I couldn't go back in that room. And if he would bury him for me because I didn't want to see him like that anymore. I didn't eat for days or sleep in that room for about 2 weeks. I couldn't sleep either. That proves my love for that bird lol. So when I saw your story, I felt the way you felt and I'm thankful that someone understands the guilt I have 10 years later. It's a guilt that hunts you years and you blame yourself continuously but what we need to get in our mind is that our animals knew we loved them and that we would hurt them. I'm still practicing that exercise. It hurts my heart everyday. I feel for you and I want you to know that I understand the pain of guilt you're feeling. God knows your heart and that it was a mistake. There's some things we can't take back but our animals know we loved them and cherished them. He wouldn't want you crying and making yourself sick.

I am completely and utterly beside myself. Yesterday morning, my husband put out 3 dogs outside like he always does before work. Gave them water and left for work. I was home with our 2 children (6 months pregnant with our 3rd). I have been extremely sick with a stomach flu the last few days. I check on the dogs constantly while they are outside. When my 2 children went down for a nap, I somehow fell asleep on the couch only to wake up 2 hours later when I heard my youngest wake up. Immediately I went to the window when I saw what time it was and noticed 1 of my dogs (the most active one) was laying down in the grass, I've never seen him lay down. I ran outside picked him up and ran inside. He couldn't hold his head up and he was covered in drool and was so hot. He was completely out of it. I ran him to the bathroomeeting and put him in front of the AC vent, I grabbed towels with cool water and covered him. He was still breathing shallowly at this point. I'm hysterical trying to pull him out of this. I watched him take his last breath literally. I watched his chest go up, and lower never to come back up again. I immediately began giving CPR. I thought it was working because he appeared as though he was trying to throw up, in actuality it was his body succumbing to death. I sat there screaming and crying hysterically on the bathroom floor. I couldn't do anything except cry. I haven't stopped crying and it's been a full 24 hours. I slept for 30 minutes total last night, and I haven't eaten anything in over 26 hours. I am feeling the most immense amount of guilt I could ever possibly imagine. I can't even get out of bed, I'm having a complete breakdown. I feel 1000% responsible. To make it worse: he was left in a tiny crate in a dumpster as a puppy, and we found him and rescued him and have had him for 5 years. I do not know how I am ever going to forgive myself, this is the worst pain I have experienced thus far in my life because I am solely responsible for this. I need the strength to try and come out of this state.

Me too! I had 5 dogs. Chico was a rescue and he loved me sonic hand I loved him dearly! One morning Itook my son to work and took my dogs for s ride and when I got home all the dogs got out but Chico. For some reason I was also distracted and that evening I wondered where he was and I looked in my car and Chico was dead under my seat! Omg I have never loved a dog that much. I need grief counseling !! Chico was human to me and I can't believe I killed my best friend! I want to die!!

I ran over my two year old dog several years ago. He was tied in the back of my dad's pickup truck so he wouldn't jump out. He had chewed through his leash so I rigged a way to tie him in, but it wasn't too secure. I was driving back from some yard work, passing these dogs who would bark and chase after cars. I felt a bump. My heart stopped... In a leap of fatal courage Dave had jumped out of the back of the truck to defend us. His leash mad him swing under the rear truck tire...I saw him on the ground, twitching. I didn't know what to do! I had a metal rod in the back of the truck. "Should I end his suffering I asked myself?" as crimson blood continued to run from his muzzle, becoming a pool of metallic red. In remembrance, and in a strange way the blood was a beautiful red. Beautiful because it was still filled with the vivacity of life. I can only say this because when I came back to clean up the mess his blood had become black, ugly, and dead.I will remember Dave my dog for the rest of my life. He would wake me up with his wet muzzle. He would chase my truck around the ranch where I worked. He was full of love, life and youth. If things had been done differently he would be alive today. The lesson I learned was, "Don't be careless with things you care about." I was afraid he might get hurt, but thought he'd be ok for the short ride home. "Don't be careless with things you care about."Pain is meant to be felt. I've killed enough in this life. Life is giving, loving, cruel, and fair. It would be unfair if Dave was alive today. He had to die. He had to die because my rear tire crushed his head. This is how nature works. The same laws which gifted me his existence had to take him away. The world is blind, and in that blindness it is fair. My dog had to die.In the end I am glad I was not cruel enough to "end his suffering." If I had done that his final moment would have been seeing his friend, who he loved, smothering his final flame. Instead he got to see me collapse by his side, torn over him, knowing he was loved. His fur was still soft, but he was gone. He is gone. But he still lives, in my mind, in me. A part of me died with him that day, and a part of him lives on with me.This is life: feel it, love it, appreciate it.

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Please try to forgive yourself. It was just a tragic accident. We are human and make mistakes. I have to try to do that myself as well. Take care.

I am so upset. Yesterday I accidentally ran over my sister's pekingese, Iggy. I didn't even know he was chasing my truck. He had never chased my truck before. I was so focused on yelling at her other two bigger dogs to stop running after me, that I didn't even know Iggy was there. He was the sweetest little dog. I have only hit two animals in the 20 years I've been driving. One was a wild rabbit that ran out in front of me at the last second and the other was a possum in the middle of the road as I rounded a curve. I am so sad and depressed. I don't know how I'm going to get over this. I loved him so much. He was so precious.

I just pulled up this blog and realize I'm not the only one. Just had a baby 5 months ago and was taking my 6th grader to her first day of school. River always jumps on without me knowing... Well I knew this time he was coming with:((( I even had to
get the baby out of the back seat!!! How could I have missed him. I'm devastated!!!!!

Oh boy. I see this is an old post, but I just had to read all the way through it. I feel for all of you. I'm only raising caterpillars for Monarch butterflies but I just killed one by accident. I know it's not a cat or dog but I love them so much. I was clipping some of the leaves to clear a space for one who is about to make a chrysalis and I (seriously) cut one in half!! I'm so horrified by what I did. I feel sick. I hope you don't laugh at me because it's just an insect, but it's seriously disturbing to me because the only reason I raise them is to increase their chances of survival. Ugh. I don't even want to tell anyone that I know because I feel so guilty and awful about myself for it. My husband is in bed and I don't know whether to tell him or just pretend it didn't happen. I hope everyone else here finds a way to heal from their experience and forgive themselves for something that wasn't intentional. I don't know how I will sleep tonight.

The sane thing just happened to me last week. I love Otis with all my heart and I am devastated beyond words. I find my self sobbing on the floor several times a day. I wake up crying because I have been dreaming about him. I am completely responsible for his death
And I have no words to express how broken hearted I am. I don't know how to begin to heal. I think I will be this way forever. And I deserve it.

So I feel horrible right now. Today my husband went to work put the dog out as usually since he's 14 years old and can't hold his poop. And I get up a couple hrs later around 8 am and let him back in. My friend calls me and wants me and my son to come swimming and I said sure since I'm trying to teach my son to swim. I see my dog already passed out on the carpet and I think I better put him out so he doesn't poop in here. So I woke him up and made him go back outside. I made sure he had water and there was shade. This was around 9 am. I went to my friends pool and around noon my husband texted me its really hot. The first thing I thought of was our dog and how old he was and I hope he wasn't stuck on the ground and couldn't get up. He also had bad arthritis and hip dysplasia. So sometimes he needed help to get up. So I asked my friend do you think my dog is OK it's pretty hot. She said ya as long as he has water and shade. So I blew of my feeling I had figured he'd be fine since he'd been stuck before in the back yard and I helped him get up when I got home. Around 2:30. My gut feeling came back and I told my friend I need to go check on my dog. I got home and found him dead in our rocks in the back yard. I completely panic and took him to the vet to make sure. And he was gone. I feel so horrible I put him out side because I knew he would poop on my carpet. He has done it lots of times and then steps in it and tracks it threw the house. We even got him a doggy door but his poop would fall out usually before he got to it. The worst thing is my husband has had him since he was a puppy so he was really more his dog. When he was at work he was my responsibility though. I feel like I let my husband down and this is my fault. I know he must of got heat stroke and it never would of happened if I would have let him stay in. Thank you for all the post it is helping me cope somewhat.

I just did the same.....drove my kid to school and forgot she was in the back seat......I've been overworked and stressed and just forgot
She was the best.......I am so so sorry. I'm the gal that puts those warning cards on other peoples dashes to warn them about that.
I just forgot and went back to my office. The horror....will never forget. I loved her so. Miss Vicky was the best...how can you forgive yourself?

I'm so sorry!!!! This morning, as I do every morning I took my lizard out to sit in the sun. When it got warmer I moved his tank so only a very small section had a sunbathing spot. He stayed sitting in the warm spot so I assumed he wasn't too hot and went on with taking care of my other pets. When I went to go get him some crickets I came outside and he was still sitting in the sun, so I put them into his tank and was immediately worried that he didn't chase after them to eat them. So I picked him up and he was stiff with sunken in eyes. He overheated. I feel so guilty he was my baby and ive spent the day crying my eyes out.

So sorry

can i pls have ur dead dog????

yes , please give me your skype and then your address we can discuss this ..

MURDERER

It was January 7th 2013, this is the first time I have spoken / written about this or shared my guilt. My best friend, my most loyal companion and a soul softer than a new born baby, that was my Sheba. She helped me through so many difficult times in my life, shared all my pains, put up with my tempers and massaged my heart deeply. One afternoon I kicked out at her just for being under my feet as I almost tripped over her, she fell to the floor and instantly I knew I had hurt her. She limped for a few hours but then she seemed fine. 3 weeks passed and she started to show signs of weakness in both her back legs. Upon a vets visit I was told she had a growth on her spleen, after an ultrasound, I know that it was not a growth but a hardening of blood from a rupture, which I caused when I kicked her. Her health quickly deteriorated and she could no longer stand on her legs and she was anemic, at 10 years old the vet said the kindest thing to do would be to put her to sleep. It was then that I should have said, NO., this is a ruptured spleen, it can be removed, and she can recover. I never told the vet about the kick, nor anyone ever. She had been slowly bleeding to death, in pain, and due to me. Its now 7 months on since Sheba was put to sleep, every day the guilt is eating me away, I have started self harming and I hate myself with a passion, if I wasnt a coward then I would have ended my life by now, I know I can't go on much longer, and rightly so. I loved Sheba more than I have loved anyone in my life, I am so ashamed of myself and know that I can never live a normal life again. Why, why, why, why......sorry my sheebs, loves you, please forgive me my love xxxx

I just found this thread, in search of some understanding as to what the hell just happened to my family last week. Last Tuesday, March 11, 2014, I was unpacking groceries at my grandmother's house as my 1 and a half yr. old Pomeranian and 6-year-old daughter played in the living room. Suddenly, my daughter appears in the pantry and says with a horrified look on her face: "momma....something really bad has happened...". Thinking she dumped over a plant or broke something, I wasn't too worried, and told her that it couldn't be THAT bad, and that mommy would just clean it up. She insisted that it WAS that bad, but couldn't tell me what happened, or where. I told her I'd have to go find out for myself. She ran out the front door scared and crying. Within a few minutes, I discovered to my horror, my little best furry friend in the whole world, Peanut the Pomeranian, was crushed to death beneath the electric lift chair in her living room. My daughter crushed him while playing in the chair. She has no clue how to cope with this tragedy, and the entire family is completely devastated. I tried to find any resource I could that might help her, and was thankful when I found an unpublished printable workbook for children titled: I Miss My Pet, by Katie Nurmi. It has been a priceless tool in helping her cope. I wish there was one for adults, as the impact has been great on us as well. Please share your comments or similar situations as mine.

Although we are humans and make mistakes I'm very disgusted your pets are your pets look after them as if there your children where I live people don't care and drive as fast as they can every i go I see them on the streets knowing what's going to happend and I just want to take them but I'm only 10yrs old but people don't care until
I happend to a person (god willing it doesn't) they'll regret it

Actually, this does happen to people. Parents forget their children in cars. You\'re right- We are only human and we do make mistakes. At 10 years old, you don\'t understand the effect that stress from work, relationships, etc has. People forget things and make mistakes. This forum is supposed to be for support so please grow up a little bit before you judge

This is a forum where people come for support.most people that post stories about accidentally killing their pets are already full of regret and guilt, they know they could have and should have done things differently to keep their little ones alive. but even with the best intentions, and even when they love their pets so much, mistakes happen. it is because we are human and we are not perfect. you will understand this once you have more responsibilities and make your first major mistake. untill then, do not judge others please.

Until today I would have agreed with you on this. I was always horrified and disgusted whenever I heard of the death of a pet that could have easily been prevented. But you don't really understand until it happens to you. I killed my ferret in the dishwasher today. I am still in shock over it. My boyfriend and I had ferret-proofed our apartment and I was always really careful about the dishwasher. But this particular time I was in just enough hurry that I forgot to double check. When I couldn't find the ferret a little while later and suddenly remembered the dishwasher it was too late. So please, understand that everyone makes mistakes, and there will be accidents.

About a month ago, I rescued 2 kittens. They were both very sick and one had to have her eyes removed. That didn't stop her though, she was so full of life and such a fighter. She was doing so well... I carted them around in a sterilite bin with holes drilled in it. One morning, I headed into work at 8. It was so cold that morning that I had to turn the heat on, so I left them in the car thinking they would be fine. So much stuff was being thrown at me at work that I didn't realize that it had warmed up outside. I wasn't feeling well and had hoped to only be at work for a few hours but of course ended up having to stay later. I went out to my car around 2pm and the kitten who could see had gotten out of the bin and was fine. I found the blind one, my little angel Blondie, dead in the bin. Words can not express the guilt and sadness I am feeling. My grandmother, who just lost her dog, was going to take this kitten and give her a wonderful home. She loved her so much and was looking forward to taking her home. I loved her so much and was looking forward to watching her grow up. I keep thinking that maybe if I had loved her more this wouldn't have happened, but I swear that I loved her more than I have ever loved anything. I woke up during the night to hand feed her when she was just a few weeks old, I monitored her during her surgery not knowing if she would pull through, I held her close after when she woke up, so glad that she had made it. And now one us take has taken her away. One stupid, horrible mistake. Know that you're not alone. We are human, and all of us make mistakes. I hope to someday forgive myself.

Yesterday I was taking my dog home after he had just been groomed, my nephew was holding the dog by his leash when suddenly he jumped up and claimed out the window. This happen because the leach was to loose and came off when he fell out the window. It is so difficult to even type this. I feel responsible for his death, I'm hurting so deeply I have PTSD from combat duty in Vietnam. And this tragic experience is causing me to have flashbacks to Nam. I know you feel guilty like me but we must realize we did not intend to cause harm to our pet or any one else. Lets both forgive ourselves, I can type this with the help of GOD, now GOD help us accept the fact we are forgiven.

My friend and I run a daycare out of her house. Abby always came to work with me everyday. I live only minutes from the daycare and I often go get my two children around lunch and bring them over for the rest of the day. I have been letting them sleep in on their summer break. As I pulled out to go get them my boxer Abby would not take no for an answer and had to go with me. I drove over to get my two girls from the house, I didn't even go In. I blew my horn for them to come out. My youngest was being fussy and stubborn about having to come to work. When I opened the back door of the car to make her get out somehow I didn't make Abby get out. My car was parked in front, in view, and I did not once look out. That's all it would have took to save her. She had been in there a little less that 2 hours when I realized she wasn't around. A parent came to pick up their child and I noticed she wasn't there walking them out to the car. She always greeted the parents and walked the kids to their car.

How did you get thru this. I just went thru same thing yesterday not realizing that my youngest put one of our dogs in the suburban. I never checked that he was lying back there and found him hours later. He's my husband's best friend and my husband wants to leave me now after 20yrs. He says he will and cannot forgive me. We have 3 kids 17 15 11 and we both agreed the guilt is too much to tell them how it happened. Help me tell me you moved on.

Two days ago I accidentally ran over our dog Chevy. I called for him outside before I left for the store, but he didn't come. We lives on 5 acres so I figured he was just playing so I got in the car and started down the driveway. I look in my rear view mirror and there he is chasing after me. The next thing I know I heard him yelp and see him in the mirror slump over into the tall grass. I threw it into park and went to him. He was breathing so hard and making these horrible noises and his poor little tongue was flicking out like he was gasping for life. I watched him die! It was the most horrific experience I've ever had. I killed my sweet little baby dog that loved me so much. My heart is so heavy with grief. I don't know how to cope. I am so stupid. I should've put him inside like I ALWAYS DID! My poor boyfriend looked at me like I was the devil. He got home maybe 10 minutes after it happened and I was still crying next to Chevy. Just seeing him run up to his best friend crying that he should've been there for him...it was horrible. My boyfriend says he forgives me but I'm not sure if I believe him. I just pray Chevy forgives me and that he didn't feel any pain. I'm so disgusted I don't know how I'm going to live with myself.

I found my beloved pit bull in my car this morning, I had forgotten her and she past away. I feel so guilty, I had her for 8 years. Not to mention telling my mom was heartbreaking.

Llocool7

I feel your pain. I had a similar experience. I left my pit, Nina, sleeping in the car and went to bed, it was about 5 am. I was suppose to wake up 3 hours later to feed her, but I overslept my alarm clock. When I woke up many hours later, it was way too late. The sudden realisation from waking up that something might be wrong, proved to be true. Nina died from heat exhaustion and possibly dehydration. It was December 31st - not too long ago. I really feel your pain. You must have been devastated and depressed, like how I am feeling right now. Thank you for sharing your story.

P.S. telling my brother is going to be heartbreaking, especially because it's his dog more than mine.

Thank you to all of you for sharing, I left our family dog Jumbo in the car yesterday after picking up my daughter and by the time we realised later it was too late. I'm distraught and guilt stricken and I dont think that will ease for a while to come, but listening to you all speak so beautifully and caring and with such warmth made me feel like perhaps if people who sound as good as all of you do can make the same mistake, then perhaps im not the awful person I feel right now.

TatumO

I feel your pain. I had a similar experience. I left my dog, Nina sleeping in the car and went to bed, it was about 5 am. I was suppose to wake up 3 hours later to feed her, but I overslept my alarm clock. When I woke up many hours later, it was way too late. The sudden realisation from waking up that something might be wrong, proved to be true. Nina died from heat exhaustion and possibly dehydration. It was December 31st - not too long ago. I really feel your pain. You must have been devastated and depressed, like how I am feeling right now. Thank you for sharing your story.

PS. The worst part was that my brother was the owner, and telling him is going to be heartbreaking

remember, God has a plan for you and your family. I have done stupid things, and im young. i still think its my fault that all my pets died. It's not. God has a plan for you and lean on him in this time. Also, try to vent your feelings out in a journal.

It's been 3 weeks since Heidi died in the car. It has gotten a bit better this week. My mind has had a broken record of envisioning her jumping in the car and me closing the door. I didn't see her jump in late at night. She probably didn't panic at first and probably didn't die til the next morning when the car started to heat up. I have had hard time getting it out of my mind of her getting hot and the hot air making it hard to breath and she couldn't get out to get relief. She was laying in the back when I found her. She had had blood on her mouth and pooped which may have occurred after she died. I have thought if only I had gone to the car earlier the next morning, she probably was still ok. I'd gotten up to feed some outdoor cats about 7am but wasn't near the car and my car has double tinted windows anyway. I though Heidi had spent the night outside, and usually runs in the house hungry and starts eating. I didn't notice she didn't come in to eat and wasn't concerned. I went back to bed a couple of hours. I have to say that my thoughts of her ordeal in the car have dwindled some. I had her more on my mind yesterday being the day she died 3 weeks ago. I have another young cat I took in this summer so I am trying to be more absorbed in her but she hasn't filled the void Heidi left. I also greatfully have 3 other cats I've had a while to love on. I think they have missed her too. I have had trouble when I get in the warm car, which makes me think of her dying in the hot car. I hope that eases up. I was due one, but terrible circumstances to do so, but I had to replace the car she died in a week later. I couldn't stand to look at it in the drive, reminding me of her demise in there. I drove it only once and got sick to my stomach thinking of her walking around in there and then dying. I've gotten over losses of pets before, but this new experience of losing one has been the most horrible.

krnsmith

I feel your pain. I had a similar experience. I left my dog, Nina sleeping in the car and went to bed, it was about 5 am. I was suppose to wake up 3 hours later to feed her, but I overslept my alarm clock. When I woke up many hours later, it was way too late. The sudden realisation from waking up that something might be wrong, proved to be true. Nina died from heat exhaustion and possibly dehydration. It was December 31st - not too long ago. I really feel your pain. You must have been devastated and depressed, like how I am feeling right now. I really LOVED Nina. Thank you for sharing your story.

PS. The worst part was that my brother was the owner, and telling him is going to be heartbreaking

4 days ago. I left my baby (5year old) dachshound in my black car on a day that was 104. I brought her with me to pick up the kids after school because she loved to go with me. When we got home I never noticed that she didn't make it out of the car until after dinner, 3 hours later she wasn't begging for food. I pulled open the door and there she was lying on her side it kind of looked like she was sleeping. I screamed her name and she didn't move. I screamed for my husband to come out there, he picked her up, held her like a baby and just cried. My 3 children then came out screaming and crying and yelling for her to wake up. It was absolute madness for 45 minutes, everyone freaking out so badly. I feel so aweful, I can't sleep, eat, can't pick up my pieces and can't even find them. I loved her so much. She was the best dog to us and she loved us more than any dog loved a family. She was so much more than a dog, we loved her so much. All I can feel Is how could I do this to her, to my family. How could I trap her in there and forget such a huge reason for our happiness and joy. The ach in my heart is huge, the sorrow and sadness is so great. I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself. I'm so ashamed at what I've done. If I had just turned around, if I had just been in the present moment and put all my meaningless thoughts away and really been there, I could have saved her. It's one thing when your pets are sick and needing to be put to rest, it's quit another when you are responsible for their death. She was a small dog but her absents is extramly loud. My heart hurts :(

I killed my Dachshund LU LU two days ago .. I SAW her jump in my car as I went to run errands ... I got to thinking this and that and when I got home I completely forgot she was in the vehicle ... Locked her in 100 plus degree heat .. I tortured the one thing that gave me so much love .... I HATE MYSELF ... I WILL NEVER FORGIVE MYSELF!

I feel this way right now. It happened yesterday. I have three small kids, but I can't get it together. I feel like a huge failure.

Reedco,

I feel your pain. I had a similar experience. I left my dog, Nina sleeping in the car and went to bed, it was about 5 am. I was suppose to wake up 3 hours later to feed her, but I overslept my alarm clock. When I woke up many hours later, it was way too late. The sudden realisation from waking up that something might be wrong, proved to be true. Nina died from heat exhaustion and possibly dehydration. It was December 31st - not too long ago. I really feel your pain. You must have been devastated and depressed, like how I am feeling right now. I really LOVED Nina. I will never forgive myself either. Thank you for sharing your story.

PS. The worst part was that my brother was the owner, and telling him is going to be heartbreaking

I am heart broken tonight for the passing of my 3 year old cat Heidi Friday. I was cleaning out my car last night and didn't know she had slipped in. She usually shows up for breakfast but when she didn't I didn't worry then. I was looking for her tonight and had not been anywhere in my car today, and thought to look in there. She was dead in my car. I took her to an animal hospital and she was gone. I am sick about it and feel so guilty not knowing she was in that car all day. Weather was in the 90s today with some rain, but I guess she got too hot. I am devasted thinking about her suffering because I didn't know she was in the car. She was a beautiful furry white with black/grey tabby spots and tail. She was a tiny little orphan someone put in my garage 3 years ago and I felt she was a blessing. What can you share with me to help me with peace and comfort. I don't know how I'm going to get over this.

I am in the same boat you are in. I am a 16 year old girl and trust me I would never hurt a fly. My dog, Sammy, was 18 years old. She lived a long long life. But she could've had a longer one if it wasn't for me. She didn't need a leash or anything because she was so well behaved and such a sweet - heart. Everyone loved her. She wasn't just a dog, she was a family member and a sister to me. She loved to explore the outdoors and always before my mom or dad or I left, would make sure where she was so we could back out of the driveway safely. Well I was in a rush to volleyball practice 2 days ago and me being stupid, the one time I didn't look all the way around the car, THE ONE TIME, she was apparently walking from my neighbor's yard behind my dad's truck that I was going to drive to practice because I don't have my own yet. I jumped in the truck and put in it reverse. The thump I heard I will never forget ever in my life. I KNEW RIGHT AWAY. I put it in park and ran to the back of the truck to find her laying there dead. I went into shock and my dad was coming out to look for her right then and there. I feel terrible and had to go to the hospital and the reality of it set it when i saw my mother's face. It was like her losing a child. My guilt is tremendously large because she was my bestfriend. I KILLED MY BESTFRIEND. And i have no clue how to cope with it. I'm accepting sometimes and then other times I want to die from all the pain I'm putting everyone through. Just wanted to share my story3

hailee, your story touched me, I'm in a similar boat.

I killed my best friend too, about two weeks ago. A 12 year old purebred Staffordshire Bull Terrier. We did everything together, she was my whole world, I cared for her everyday. Even at times when she needed surgery, we would all help nurse her back to good health.
I've looked after my dogs all my life, never lost one, even when they had gotten loose. We always searched until we found them. Even when I was 7 years old, I was the only one who noticed our cute beagle/cocker mix got out. Ran across busy traffic, not thinking of my own life at all, I loved that dog so much. He died an old man at home with us, at age 15 years back in 1997.

About my 12yr old girl, It's such a nightmare, for her to have died at all, but the way she did is so messed up and tragic. A .22 pistol of mine fell and struck her, went through and through on lower her side and out of her stomach. We rushed her to a animal hospital, only a few are open on Labor Day. They gave us a lot of hope, had her stabilized, but they said she needed surgery after an X-ray. Took out her spleen and some intestines, they gave us a 50/50 shot but she didn't pull through. I so wish it could have gone the other 50%. She was too old I guess for the trauma, poor baby had respitory depression and a cardiac arrest. I still can't believe she's gone, I miss her like nuts. She could have easily lived another 3-4yrs, very vibrant, aware and robust dog for her age.

It's horrifying that my last memories of her, is running around scared, bleeding and in shock. Right before she left, we put her in a half pet crate, with a make shift bandage and towels for bedding. I looked into her eyes, and all I could see was her saying, "Why did you kill me, I love you.", "What's happening to me?". She didn't know what was going on. Ugh I'll hate this about me, til the day I can't think of it anymore or anything else, after my death. I really hope I die from someone else's gun going off accidentally too. Either that or an animal attack, I deserve it. The guilt, regret and sadness is like living in a personal hell of my own stupid creation. I love you Millie, please forgive my mistake!

My heart is broken. I am so guilt ridden. I killed my best friend Doodle. My son and I were at the library and using their internet because AT & T wouldn't fix their problem at the house, so I disconnected the internet at the house. My son lost his learners permit and I always bring Doodle when I know we are just dropping my son off, well we thought we would go by the library and see if he lost it there. I got out of the car to help him look. When we couldn't find the permit, I said we might as well use the internet while we are here. It was 104 degrees out! When we finally left and got in the vehicle we heard thumping in the very back of the Jeep. She was seizing. I threw water on her and drove to my pool close by and my son held her in the cool water while I did CPR. We then drove to the hospital. She was passed away. I loved this dog so so much. She was a rescued dog. She knew how to roll down the electric windows in my Jeep. She knew how to shut the door. I feel so sick to my stomach as I pretty much killed a best friend. I am not sleeping. Many friends have shared many kind words, but one friend who is divine with Christian words helped me, and I would like to share, "Forgive yourself for God has already forgiven you. Accidents happen and although we don't want loved ones to leave God called her to be by His side. Yes I believe God has a purpose for this and in time He will reveal it. Know that your dog will be with Him as he is the Creator of all things. And don't blame yourself for this because God would not want you to live with the guilt." Sondra is my savior of saving me from severe pain of this most terrible mistake. I want to do something positive, is there anything out there that will remind you that you have a pet in the vehicle. I am going to look into this. I am so surprised that this has happened so much. And we are all living with the pain...so sorry Doodle, please forgive me...

This just happened to me. I hope u r better because i feel like dying always. it has been a week. My husband left him in the car. u situation sounds like me

The best thing I did when my dogs died, it was lonely, and i learned to love a new dog. Learn to love something else. thats the best thing to do

Thank you for saying that :)

thank u for that quote. this happened to me yesterday. my son asked me if maybe there might be a dog being born somewhere and she will be reborn. he was just saying that to make me feel better because he knows that she is gone, but I always used to talk about animals being reborn. i feel like i will be reborn as an animal that gets neglected because that's what i did to my dog. i am so sorry Izzy. I love you so much, how could i have done that to you?

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I am dealing with the same situation. Today was my birthday and my husband, my two children and I were about to head to town to pick up some food to grill. My husband opened the door of the car he drives to work to see how much gas was in it and we just decided to take my tahoe instead. Little did we know that Papa my 10 yr old daschund had jumped inside the other car which is strange because he has never rides in it. When we got back from town we proceded to cook the food and as we are eating we notice Papa isn't here begging for food. I immediatley get worried. I search every where and my mother in law opens the door to the other car and there is my sweet baby just laying there like he was just sleeping. I guess he had a heat stroke but its killing me. I fel like I should have seen him jump in there or something I haven't slept all night thinking about what I should have or could have done. I miss him so much and I just can't stop blaming myself

I recently lost my two dearest friends by leaving them in my car too long-the one hot day in the PSNW we'd had in months. A mother and son. I had the mother Ripley for 13 years, and her son Loki for 7. Two beautiful shepherds, my best friends. It was a horrible thing that happened. I made a terrible mistake, and showed terrible stewardship. The guilt has been tearing me apart, and I am trying to face it, without this constant negative thinking. All I can say is it has been devastating, and changed my life. I had a complete breakdown, complete. I'm still trying to find some peace, I want to tell them how sorry I am, how much I love them. At times all I can do is cry it is so heavy, the sorrow so great. But they must know how much I truly did love them, and that I never intentionally would have hurt them. Its all I can hope for. I don't have any answers, just my heart felt sympathy and understanding at the pain and anguish.

I ran over the family cat as a teen. She was sleeping on top of the tire and I didn't know. I was in a hurry to go out and didn't check for her. I remember to this day the sick thud of rolling over her. All I could do is sit and cry in the rain as she died in my arms.<br />
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The pain never goes away but it does get better. It was an accident. It was awful. But you loved your dog and it loved you. <br />
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Find forgiveness. Forgive yourself. You loved your pet. it was an accident. Find a way to pay tribute to your pet's memory in finding forgiveness.

It was 1 week ago that the worst nightmare of my life happened. I am a school bus driver and often bring my bus home to save on fuel for the school and myself. It was a rainy stormy day. Charlie our Black Lab had been in and out of the house as usual, but mostly in cuz he hates thunder. It had been a busy day for all of us and I was running late for my bus route. I checked the bus and with the entry door opened, Charlie came to say goodbye to me just before I shut the door, I said see ya later Charlie" and he walked away. I had a few more things to check and off I would go. Charlie didn't like the rain and usually went to his kennel or under the front porch to get out of the weather. Well he didn't go to any of those places. Unknowing, he went under the bus, I imagine to get out of the rain. While leaving I felt a bump and looked in one mirror and then the other, and to my horror, saw him lying lifelessly in the driveway. I set my brake, screaming for my husband, whom had just gone to bed for his 3rd shift job. Charlie did not respond upon talking to and when we both came running out of the house he was gone. I never thought he'd go under my running bus. Oh my God, how could I have done such an awful thing to such a wonderful dog? Our family dog! Charlie was to be 10 years old in October. I have tortured myself thinking if I had only this or that. But nothing helps the nightmare that keeps playing over and over in my head! I can't bring myself to tell my grown children what happened, or should I? I still haven't went to his grave. I feel sooo guilty! I said over and over to him I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. When I came back home my husband had buried him out back where we liked to take our walks. He loved playing ball so much that he put a ball in his mouth to be with him forever. It is just tearing me up!!! I would never harm any of my dear loved ones. They are there for us when we're happy or sad, when we eat and sleep, there to play with and relax. They make a house a home, I can barely stand the thought of not have him around. It hurts when I pull in the driveway, I can hardly check or drive my bus w/o crying. I'm hoping he has forgiven me and knows I loved him very much. I know he's in heaven playing ball with the others that have passed on. Help me please!!!!!! Should I tell? Will it make me feel better or what should I do?

tell, explain and write in a journal to vent out your feelings.

We had to put our beautiful family friend down recently, he died a similar horrible death. We were returning from a family trip and my buddy (Rescued Lab) was riding with me as he always did. I stopped a few times on the way even went into a restaurant and ate but left the car and AC running for him. When I got back to town I went straight to office because my phone had been ringing the entire trip. I figured I'd take him since he often would join me there. As I was unloading the car I even transferred all my stuff to passenger seat since I had to walk around and let out my dog. Well between gathering my belongings and my phone ringing again I walked away from the car while my friend waited patiently for me to return. I went in and began trying to catch up from being out of office. I was inside about an hour and I returned to my car and the nightmare began. I opened the car door to hear the worst panting and blast of hot wet air I have ever felt. <br />
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I instantly realized what I had done. He was in bad shape but I rushed to the vet which was close as I poured every bottle of water in the car I could find on him. We got to vet and cooled him down and treated him but needed to move him to animal hospital. At first things were encouraging and we thought he might come back but his body shut down 24 hours later. We had to end his suffering as the vet said he wasn't going to pull through. I have always been a good dog owner and dad but getting caught up in my own head for a few minutes killed my best friend. I've never felt so selfish or guilty in my life. I read other sites that were relentless on people who left dogs in cars calling them murderers among other things, that didn't help to say the least. Anyway. I don't think I'll ever forgive myself but reading other stories has helped some.

I'm in the same situation with my dead hamster and it is hurting me so bad.. We are just going to have to overcome that guilt..

I killed my little baby girl. My heart is breaking and I don't know how I am evef going to be able to forgive myself and feel "right" again. Last saturday evenng we were relaxing in the house, I was in my recliner. Baby loved being near me so I checked to make sure she was not under the foot of the recliner before closing it. I didn't see her so i put the footrest down with the arm. My Yorkie started barking at the recliner and I had crushed my little Baby's skull. The doctor;s said wait and see yet every day for week her prognosis got more grim. I finally had to make the decision tonight to put her down while I held her. She couldn't use her back limbs or go potty on her own, her head at 3 woounds to the skull, her breathing was getting more labored each day and she was so unhappy I think because she wasn't with Mommy. When I learned that her care would take months and she would more than likely never walk again or go potty on her own I knew it wasn't fair to her to keep her going. I held her and helped her go to heaven. My pain is immense and I don't know how I am ever going to get over this. I feel awful, I wish I would have looked all the way under the chair or never bought that chair in the first place. I wish I could take back that day one week ago.

I have been moved to tears reading about your terrible loss..... I too feel so much guilt about the death of my beautiful dog... how can you explain or come to terms with how you feel. My dog died almost at my hand - if I hadn't called for him to come back he would never have raced across the road! I couldn't bear to live in the house any longer but had to endure another three years with the memory etched in my mind of him being hit by a car. I witnessed him being run over and it was the most terrible black day! All I can say to you is time heals and some of the wonderful comments you have had may ease your pain, because sharing pain is healing. I was made to feel that I had over reacted by some people - "hey it wasn't a kid" but it was my baby and I loved him so. He knew that so I comfort myself with that thought. He knew I loved him. Like your little guy knew you loved him. Comfort yourself with the happy memories of him.

I had a bichon frise she was 4 months, so cute and lovely. on 30th December last year I made a terrible mistake which haunted me for days every moment. <br />
she was sick for few days and was not eating and drinking, I dont know why it didnt cross my mind to take her to a vet. anyway on 30th December in the morning she was a bit cold and I put her on the heater which was like 45degrees hot to keep her warm. After 5mins I checked on her, she looked at me in a strange way and closed her eyes, I realized something happened to her took her away but she was so loose and not moving, her heart was still beating so I took her plenty of water and tried to give her but after few seconds her heart stopped working. I could not believe she was dead and for few hours I kept her next to me as I was in a great shock. <br />
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It was a matter of few seconds to save her life, now for every moment I blame myself why I put her on the heater. She had been sick before and I'd taken her to vet but this time I do not know what kept me from taking her to the Vet. <br />
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My life is hell now and I feel guilty to take her life, she was also so attached to my gf and my gf loved her. I'm beside myself.

hi.. im 18 and travellig to europe tommorrow except i just cant get excited.. yesterday i was dropping my older brother off at a party ... i had been driving all day and our drive way is so long... i was coming up the garden and i saw my mum .. i thought she was waving at me.. and i just wanted to pull up quickly to play with our two new puppies (one charlie 10 week yr old jack russell.. and 8 week wolfie black german shepherd) .. she wasnt waving, she was trying to tell me to slow down but i didnt see her.. i came in too fast and killed our little pup wolf.. mum and dad were screaming at me and all i could do was run... dad buried him ... i couldnt tell my brother what i had done so we told him wolf was bit by a snake.. i feel so guilty all the time i cant believe i killed an innocent animal .. he was only running to the car to say hello and i killed him .. everyone keeps asking how he died and i just cant tell them im the reason he is dead.. i know how you feel.. it's such a burden.. he didnt die instantly either ... mum keeps saying just be thankful it wasnt dad or my brother...accidents do happen and it was just bad fate, though i still cant believe it happened... i suppose the first step is to forgive yourself.. sorry for trailing on .. it just helps to know other people have made similiar mistakes as well

Melanyheart~I am writing to you because I just recently did the exact same thing and I am in more pain than I can even describe. My sweet wonderful Golden named Max (almost 5), rides in the car with me daily. He absolutely loves it and gives me puppy dog eyes if I try to leave without him. Well, Sunday, August 1st, I woke up and got ready to pick up my daughter from a sleep over while my older daughter was being dropped off from hers. Both my girls had done back to back sleep overs so I was concerned about their lack of sleep and wanted to get them home to rest. As I was leaving, Max followed me to the back door and begged me to go. I thought...why not and decided to bring him along. I took him out front to pee first and then off he went into the back of my SUV with the side windows rolled down so that he could stick his head out. Well, I picked up my daughter, ran threw a drive through for breakfast tacos and then came home. I usually get out and then open my daughter's door before going around to get Max out. Well, I had a hand full of tacos so I decided to hop out and let my 9 year old open her door on her own and proceeded to the back door without even thinking that Max was still in the car. He is so quiet and hardly ever barks so he was probably just sitting there watching us go in, wagging his tail thinking that surely I am going to come back out. Well, I fixed up the tacos and then proceeded to get the girls to bed. I don't have a clue where my mind was because I even took a few moments to pick up my book I was working on just feet away from the back door where my sweetheart was being cooked to death. Max was always very quiet in the house and would alot of times just lie down and nap under my kitchen table or living room floor. I just didn't think to look for him for some ungodly reason. It sickens me with every fiber of my bone to think about how he suffered! I lie awake at night, I cannot eat and cry all day long for my Max. My daughters and I found him together on the floor board covered in droll and extrememly hot. I of course raced him to the vet anyway even though I knew he was dead and managed to cause the biggest scene beggging everyone on staff to try to revive him. I stayed with him for hours and refused to leave him. To say I have been struggling is an understatement. I am riddled with the guilt of sitting on my *** reading a book without clueing in to the fact that I forgot to let him out of the car. I have taken him all over town a hundred times a day and yet I forget on the one time that it is 100+ degrees. Please please tell me what has helped you? I had the pastor come over today and do a ceremony for Max. We all wrote letters to him and talked about what a wonderful time he will have at the rainbow bridge. We also released balloons to heaven for him. I have talked to a grievance counselor but am still haunted in my mind every second of every day as to WHY I didn't remember that my baby...love of my life....was still in the car. He was truly more than a pet, he was a child to me. Please help!!! I noticed your incident happened almost a year ago. I need help with how to escape the guilt. I keep thinking about his horrible death and it

Don't know if you are still following this thread, but a vet in my area did the same thing. Her beloved dog went everywhere with her--she forgot he was in the car when she got out. I don't know why life is the way it is. Hope you are feeling a little better about it--I have also had the experience (accidentally causing death of my dog), but even after nearly 2 and a half years it is killing me. Also, six months ago, I had my rescue dog of a year and a half put down---I will always feel guilty because I think she still had six mos. to a year to live. I still hate the vet who encouraged me to make the decision. We were in a crisis, and I was alone and just didn't thnk it through. I changed my mind once and then the evil vet said she was suffering. I will never get over that.

The love that Gus gave to you and your family is what you need to remember. Don't you know that Gus would have wanted it that way. Yes I do believe animals have feelings, for how else would they be ably to love their families as we love them. Please let go of the blame and remember the love.<br />
By the way I am also in Spokane.

In our town in South Africa a lady asked her husband to drop their two month old baby off at the creche. She usually did it but for some reason could not do it herself on that day. The father drove to work, the baby was sleeping in her little car seat in the back. Somehow she slipped his mind because he was distracted about work. He completely forgot about her and went about his daily business. His wife went to pick up the baby from the creche and was told that he never brought her in. The baby died in his car that day. At the funeral the priest said: we can look at this father and all say: "but for the grace of God, there goes I". It was a terrible tragedy, for which he has to pay the rest of his life. It can happen to anyone. My heart goes out to you. I killed my little Yorkie this morning by accidentally slamming her in the door. The pain is unbearable, and beyond description. I am praying for all of us who were the instruments of death to innocent beings. May our beloved companions know we meant them no harm, and may they find eternal peace.

oh **** that was a real shame. You sound like a very caring owner to. unfortunately this is just one of those damn annoying mistakes. This issue of leaving animals and babies in cars has got alot of people in the poo.<br />
think of it this way that animal had a better life becuase of you and that should lessen the guilt. Of course just be a bit more careful in future. You took good care of him after all and beating yourself up won't improve the situation

We have 4 cavalier king charles dogs. All of them are our family. Each unique and wonderful. Our newest addition was Homer Yoder baby biscuit brauer. He was a ruby boy. He looked just like that child's book "Biscuit". We are all in love with him. I got home from work as a nurse and suggested we (hubby, me and my 6 year old boy) go to the new Dunkin donuts. Homer raced down the driveway and cuddled me, full body cuddles. I usually let him ride with us but today it didn't occur to me. As we pulled out in my SUV we heard a thump...there's always toys and balls in the driveway...then another thump. My husband stopped the car and looked and just started screaming "oh my ******* do"...i'd never seen him like this. I leaned over him and saw it. My baby Homer on the ground his head run over. Nothing was in place, not eyes, mouth or brains. But his tail was wagging and his feet still moving...I screamed like death to my neighbor, "help me, help me". I then collapsed on the ground and started wailing. Someone put a sheet over Homer and I continued screaming. I heard the neighbors talking about getting a gun to put it out of it misery. I immediately went to homer, blood and all. and i held him...i felt his heart still beating. I told him how much i loved him and that he had to go now, just go homer. My neighbor came up and said that I needed to go. I don't even want to know what they had to do at that point. My neighbor loved this dog like his own and was crying. My husband, son and me walked down the street balling. When we came back the neighbor said Homer was in the freezer if we wanted to bury him. We did, right where he would take all of my son's toys...his secret spot at the front of our property. The blood is now bleached and rained off (thanks to tonight's rain)...It's been 3 days of hell. But I know that Homer was an angel and his death will n ot be in vain. This experience has opened up my previously withdrawn husband by 10 fold. I choose to find the good that can come out of the bad. all my dogs are depressed. We all miss him so friggin much. for days it felt like I had a white hot torch in my abdomen....screaming..... I believe he's in a good place and waiting for me. there is an excellent website called petloss.com that has a wonderful ceremony every Monday night. You light candles for the ones who passed and the ones who are sick. It's worldwide. Just remember, always be thankful. Don't hold your words of love or affection for a more appropriate time. There is no time. It's all borrowed. and remember, it might hurt like hell but everything happens for a reason and if you can turn a negative into a positive...you've got life figured out. God Bless all the animals that have gone and are waiting by the rainbow bridge.

I just read your story (Sept. 8) and I'm so sorry to hear about your dog, Gus. I'm feeling the exact pain as 5 days ago I was doing laundry and saw our kitten climb into the dryer. I kept putting wet clothes in and made a mental note to get her out instead of going ahead and just doing it like I always did. Only a couple of min. passed and I slammed the door, hit the button and turned off the light. I never heard a thing. The next morning I was searching for a shirt and found her. Her little body, 9 hrs. later, was still very warm. She had burns on her ears, blood coming from her ear and a broken and twisted back leg. She was 4 mo. old and was my daughter's best friend! She's 12 and carried her baby everywhere and they slept together. I rescued the mama cat and she had her kittens in my daughter's room. We kept 2 kittens and so the sister kitten is now alone because my grown cats don't like her. I have shattered my daughter's world with my carelessness and in all of my 39 years, I've never felt this kind of guilt, pain and frustration!

I am so sorry about what happened to your dog. It was an accident. On August 23, I accidently killed my 10 month old kitten. I was doing laundry, and when I went upstairs to put clothes away, I left the dryer door open. I came back downstairs, and put some clothes in the dryer. I did not notice the kitten in the dryer. Well, a little while later, I heard a thumping noice, and I opened the dryer, and there was the kitten. I am devastated! I cant stop thinking about it. I think I need to go to some sort of counceling group that deals with this type of thing. We had adopted two kittens, and now the other kitten looks lonely, because they also played together. I feel so guilty. I can understand exactly how you feel right now.

i guess me & u r in the same boat. I killed my bestfriend last month. it was the family dog but my brother loved her more than anything. i accidently stepped on her i heard somthing crack she was a tiny thing & i didnt want to hold on to tightly to the leash so she slipped and ran for the ducks i didnt want her to run lose and get hurt so w/o tihnkin i ran after her and stpped on the leash she flew back & b4 i knew it she was under me. <br />
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My brother still hasnt forgiven me, i miss her everyday thinking it would all b better if she was still here. but no matter how much i wish she was back and if i would have never taken her to the park dat day. <br />
Truth is, theres nothing dat we can do now. it happend and ill never forget how she looked how she looked at nothing and how limp her body was. <br />
Sometimes i go through the day not thinkin about it but then it just hits me and i break down. but no matter how much i break myself down or beat myself up it wont change a thing bcuz it already happend so y torture yourself. <br />
time will heal itself, besides its not like you meant to do it. it was an accident and accidents happen. i'm still trying to heal myself and im so i happy i found this page and your story today. i tihnk sharing it and getin it out is the 1st step into the healin process.

Im so sorry to hear that. I accidently killed my GF's dog a couple weeks ago.her mom was trying tpo teach me how to drive a stick shift when her dog ran behind the truck I slamed on the brakes but it was to late.She is still mad at me for killing her dog.

I am sorry for your loss. I started crying before I even finished what you had written. It was an accident and you have to remember that. I know the guilt it probably very strong but you need to forgive youself for making a mistake. Gus still loves his mama. I'm so sorry! :-( <br />
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**HUG**

I am so sorry this happened. I can feel your pain in the words you wrote.

Well if you want one good thing it shows just what kind of caring person you are. Had you been cold to the situation or tried to blame others, then that's one thing. But you took responsibility for the situation.<br />
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I cannot imagine how you feel. I just had to put my dog down. She was my best buddy too. Could have lived a while longer, but it was getting bad for her. When I left I could not watch. She tried to leave with me and showed great concern. But I knew if it was not today it would be soon.<br />
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I had a lot of guilt about that. But I know yours is worse. All that can be said is there was no malice, or intent. It was all a bad accident and we both know that the next time, you will be double sure to make sure the car is clear.<br />
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My elderly neighbor ran over her cat. Imagine that. A former client did the same to her elderly dog. <br />
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Nothing I say can make a difference. What I have learned recently is you have to forgive yourself even if you think you can, because if you don't it will come out in the strangest of ways and who suffers is not so much you, but your family and others.<br />
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I am terribly sorry. I get it well, believe me. I live in AZ, and that is sadly common. That and large families and one kid being left behind. Imagine that. <br />
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But I bet it will never happen again, so don't beat yourself down too much its pointless for everyone. <br />
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Just learn the lesson and move on.<br />
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Take care

Oh, no, I'm so sorry. I can't say anything to make it better. Hang on. Just hang on. Whatever else, just remember that all the good parts of his life were likely because of you and, if you are rescuing, then you are a very good person. We need more like you. You can't do anything more for him now and he isn't suffering, but many out there are and you can honor his memory by helping them. That's how I got through my similar situation. I'll never be over it entirely, but I am doing better.

I am so sorry for you and your family, and I want you to please think of what Gus ment to your Lifes and the chances that you got to spend together, funny moments that made him that much Special in life, no matter the circumestances of someone's death it is not what is important, what is is the Life you gave him, the 2nd chance at a loving family that Obviously he found, take comfert in Knowing three would not be so much greef if there was not SO MUCH LOVE, so many people get a dog and just tie them up to a post outside and toss some scrapps their way from time to time, it sounds like ur Gus lead a full and happy life and that is because of you. . . .I joined this site only a few hours ago because last night a lil stray black kitten wondered onto our doorstep and My 4 year old daughter fell in love, I decided to bring it in to stay despite the fact we had just adopted a 3 year old calico last month we bathed it, fed it and played with it for 2 hours, then my daughter told him ur so cute and gave him a big hug that was too tight and killed him instantly in her arms, I cannot even begin to tell you how regretful I am that I even opened that door last night because although Paige is only 4 she is incredably smart and she knows the kitty is dead because of her actions, IDK how it will continue to effect her in the future, but she knows that she had those two hours of life with that Kitty and she and they made eachother as happy as can be. Maybe have a celebration of the life Gus had, get some photos if u have them and make a fun inspired album of ur memories or if he wore a Collar, put it in a shadow box along w/ a few of his favorite things and hang it up so he can be there with u always. . . .