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I Don't Know How It Happened...

 Last time night two of my best friends were over watching movies. My mom has 23 cats and they are all inside. Recently my niece found these three half lab and half pit dogs. They are beautiful, sweet dogs with humans, but will kill any other animal they come in contact with. 

Anyway, knowing this we were all very careful not to let any of the cats out the door to the back when we would go back there for a cigarette. My friends and I went as far as to kick our leg around and watch the door when we were coming in and out. 

Finally the night winds down, and this guy that I have a tiny fling with comes over. Him and I retreat to his house at the end of the night and at 7:00 am I wake up to a text that says "You left Thai (one of our very first cats) outside last night and the dogs killed him."

I froze.

With this freshly new boy laying next to me, I burst out into tears and started shaking uncontrollably. I NEVER cry in front of guys, let alone a guy I've only seen a handful of times. So there I am shaking and crying in complete shock, and all that's going through my head are these vicious images of my cat that we've had since he was a kitten being torn to pieces by this pack of pitbulls, knowing it's all my fault. 

Luckily the boy was rather sweet about it. With concern in his voice he asked if I was alright. All I could do was shake my head and try to mutter something intelligent, it was along the lines of needing to go home and my cat getting out and killed. He said he didn't understand what I was talking about, however continued to coo me to lay down. I shook me head, still shaking and crying, as he gently laid my head down on his pillow and put his arms around me.

That was the most comfort I got all day. I quickly got home, and my hysterical mother starts yelling at me. Then my lovely brother has been reminding me all day of how I killed our cat. I cried and slept all day. I had to throw up from stunned nerves. The only way I feel better is by not allowing myself to think of him, of his precious face, of my baby. :(

InsanelyMe08 InsanelyMe08 18-21, F 6 Responses Jan 14, 2010

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I am sooo sorry! I know how you feel, having 3+ of my own cats die and I never really knew their cause. 1 died of old age, another died of something we don't know. My grandparents were going to take her to the vet in two days- if only they had acted faster, though we probably would of had to put her down. And the last died two days after my birthday sitting on my grandparents lap and being stroked. I didn't know of it for12 hours and I don't know why he died!

You didnt do it on purpose. I know you hear that alot but I know how you feel.<br />
I accidentally killed my dog jingles. He was my baby boy. He was born christmas day and was the best present I ever got. One day he was being horribly mean to my friend and I yelled at him and threw a magazine at him. It hit his leg and he fell. I rushed him to the vet. He lost use of both of his back legs. They said if he wasnt better in 3 months they would have to put him down. 1 month laatwer he was doing amazingly better. He was barkng at my friend again so I yelled but knowing what happened I never thought of throwing anything. He died the next morning alone. The last thing I did with my dog was yell at him. I blamed myself for everything I even attepted suicide. But I knew Jingles would want me to be happy and to stop blaming myself. I know your cat would want better for you than to blame yourself. Remember your cat will alwys love you know matter what, and you should do the same.R.I.P Jingle Bells my baby

I am sooooooooo sorry!

Thank you my loves all of you are so sweet. :)<br />
<br />
Dave, he was a sweetie. However I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm crazy now haha it's alright though.

That boy was so sweet. I liked how he layed you down, and put his arms around you. It isn't your fault that the cat was killed. *hugs you*

That is so tragic,but dont get yourself down,thats life

you didn't do it on purpose :( it's not nice of them to make you feel worse, but then again, everyone mourns in their own way. they may not know what else to do. i hope your heart heals well - Thai wouldn't want you to beat yourself up, honey!