He Was a Jerk From My Son's Conception to Adulthood

This man.  There are hardly words to describe what a total a hole he is.  I say is and not was because he hasn't changed.  Right now he's playing a different role and after twenty one years of dealing with him I am "aware".  It is not a strecth to be civil with him because I am no longer remotely emotionally attached to my son's father.  When I met him I didn't know that he was a walking stop and go ho.  I should have been more aware of what I was dealing with when he ordered me to have an abortion when I told him that I was pregnant.  Turns out it's what he'd done with a few women.  I didn't find out the kind of ho he was until AFTER I was 6 months pregnant and I went to his room one night to get a ride home from work and some woman opened his door wearing nothing but a short t-shirt exposing all her assets and apparently expecting him and not a pregnant woman. All of a sudden the stories of his exploits come pouring out and he's got two other children and so on and I am devastated and I won't mess with him anymore.  When I was in labor my son went into fetal distress three weeks early and I was told that we could both die and I had to have an emergency C-section and I asked the hospital to call the father and have him come in and that dog wouldn't come.  Later on he sends a friggin card up and I tore it to pieces.  Two days later he pops up unexpectedly and unwanted and the first thing he says is that my son is not his and it infuriated me!  I told him if he believed that then leave but he didn't.  However I had to ask a co-worker of mine to pick me up from the hospital because he wouldn't do it and I didn't have another way home.  He has been uninvolved for ALL of my sons growing up years, showing up occasionally when I'd call and REMIND him that he has a child.  When my son was 6 he wanted to join boy scouts and wanted his father to take him.  The meetings were once a week on Thrusdays for one hour from 7 to 8 PM.  That man would not even give his boy that much of his time and my son had a nervous breakdown and could not stop crying for a couple of days.  Another time we were all sick from a virus that was going around the kids' school and my children were bedridden and I called him to come see his son and he told me that he was feeling sick too and couldn't make it and I told him if things got worse I'd call and let him know.  So at 11:15p my sons is throwing up and miserable and I'm about to fall over so I call his father and there's no answer.  I call back every hour on the hour until 3 am so that he could get my children to the hospital and he doesn't answer.  Come to find out that he'd gone out on a date and spent the night with yet another woman but he had told me that he was SOOO sick that he couldn't come see his extremely sick son.  He lived 10 minutes away from us and would not come see his boy unless I called him or he'd show up at 1 and 2 in the morning when he KNEW my kids were asleep.  He wasn't coming to see my son.  It got old after a while.  I was pretty much prostituting myself with him to get him to spend some time with my son which he did every few months.  This went on for years until I caught something and ended up with PID and had to have surgery.  I wouldn't mess with him after that and because of that his "father" playing days were over.  He refused to come see my child.  I didn't care.  The thing too is I could have told my son the truth about this father not caring about him and I could have poisoned my son against his father but I didn't.  I wanted to be a good parent and loving mother and I wouldn't hurt my son that way.  I left the door open for that man to be in his son's life whenever he wanted to and he didn't want to very often.  I had to take him to court for child support.  I had asked him for money for his son for years and occasionally he'd give me a couple of dollars but it was ridiculous cause he was spending a thousand dollars on special tires for his car and my baby is walking around in raggedy shoes with holes in the knees of his only pair of pants.  Times were bad for me and my kids.  He was leaving and I asked him for an address and that low life dog made up an address and I used to work in the office and I recognized that it was fake so before he left I mailed a letter to the address and when it came back attempted no known I showed it to him and let him know what a total jerk he was and I told him as long as he is in the military he can't hide.  He tried to more than once but I was in the service too and duty assignments were just a phone call away.  But anyway after the test showed he is my sons father he said if he gotta pay for him then he was gonna come see him and it was all bluster cause he didn't change anything from when he ignored my son his whole life.  When my son turned 16 he had issues and went to live with is father by under police direction.  All that man cared about was child support and the police officer who was speaking with him became agitated that he wouldn't focus on his son and finally told him that it was a civil matter and told him to come get his boy which he did.  One of the first things that bast did was tell my son that I had wanted to have an abortion and HE had talked me out of it.  Just to hear that he'd said this totally unbelievable lie flabbergated me.  I told my son it was MY body and I raised YOU alone.  Does it make sense that I would let some *** that wasn't ever around convince to keep a baby that I didn't want?  If I'd wanted an abortion I would have had an abortion.  THREE TIMES!!!  Then when my son came back for a visit he told me that he wanted to live with me again after 4 months of living with his father and that's when I find out that that man had filed for custody of my son and child support too.  He was SUPPOSED to give me copies of the court papers and I had 30 days to respond and if I didn't he would be granted custody.  He didn't show me the papers!!!  I jacked my son from my daughters house and when his father came to pick him up is when he found out that I had taken him back in and at THAT time he presented the papers to my daughter to give to me.  I had two days left on the response order!!!!  He was holding those papers until time had run out and if I hadn't taken my son I would have lost custody of him!!!  I immediately called the court and filed a complaint and told them that I protested the custody transfer and had a court date set up here and on the day of the hearing that coward didn't even show up and the judge said I was custodial parent still and held the father in contempt for lying about being notified.  It was a big mess!  When my son had messed up he wanted to get help from his father and his father vrbally attacked him and me to make us angry so that we would not want anything to do with him.  It is a manipulative ploy that he's used a couple of times and I usually avoid his attempts but sometimes I do let him get me mad and I don't speak to him for months that turn into years which is what he wants.  He told my son that I kept him away from him which is another bald faced lie and for my son to believe these stories irritated me to no end.  So here it is almost two years since he told my son that he is a thug, lazy, sorry, and deserved to live on the streets and he took my son in for three months and now my son is back in my house again.  He is 20 and still is lost.  I'm putting all of my animosity and pure hatred aside for his sake and I am involving his ****** father in the new direction my son is taking which is enrolling in job corps.  I have a bon vayage dinner planned for him and I have invited his father to attend.  He isn't coming on my sons behalf.  He is coming to see me and I know it.  A while ago I played a game of my own and he bit and I let him know that he hasn't changed at all and that he needed to care for his son as much as he seemed to care for messing with his mother.  There's so much baggage between the three of us.  But for my children I have made sacrifices, supplications, and concessions for their betterment.   I did the best that I could with my self made mistakes.  Even when I was married my children didn't have a father.  I made REALLY bad choices in my personal life and it ruined my professional one in the end but that's another entry.

Comprehensive2 Comprehensive2
Mar 24, 2009