I Act Cold Because I Am Sensitive

I am way sensitive, and that can be a problem. I was that shy, sensitive kid who struggled not to cry when people were mean or when the teacher was angry.

I remember when I was in the early years of highschool, some friends jokingly asked if I was cold because they had never seen me cry. But then, on those rare occasions that I've cried, hooo boy it was all out stuffy nose, puffy eyes crying.

That sounds fairly reasonable. Now however, things have gotten out of hand. I think I really am cold now. Yet I am still overly sensitive. Is it possible to be both?

I can be a little bit crazy, and when I went through a particularly bad spell of depression, I wanted to spare my friends from me, so I inexplicably stopped talking to them and isolated myself. I couldn't keep up a happy exterior any longer and was scared of being hurt in my vulnerable state. People I'd met on the internet were easy to cut off, even though we'd become quite close. However, the reaction at my disappearance was unexpected. I thought I'd be able to fade away easily without anyone remembering this random person they'd met online. It was painful to look back, so I didn't.
ForestSong ForestSong
18-21, F
1 Response Jul 11, 2010

I've disappeared from several sites. It's often easier to leave something behind than try to deal with it, especially if you care what the people involved think. But yeah, I understand. When I was younger I'd cry easily if someone was angry with me, but now I'm kind of cold and ruthless whilst also being in a somewhat fragile state of mind. It's strange to be icey to basically everyone even while I'm not internally like that, but that seems to be who I am.