I Need People More Than They Think

around people im happy, im the center of attention, i can make people laugh and have fun. Im so good that sometimes people dont want me to leave when im supposed to leave. Little do they know that i wouldnt ever be alone if i could help it. when im alone i feel like a loser, like im nothing. when im not making jokes or talking to girls regardless if theyre a love interest, im sad. its like theres something wrong with me or something missing that can only be filled when im around people. sometimes i think about suicide, but im too scared to even do it. my family thinks im the best, so i cant tell them the truth. now i have to lie, becuase if anything, i care what they think of me.