I Need People More Than They Think

around people im happy, im the center of attention, i can make people laugh and have fun. Im so good that sometimes people dont want me to leave when im supposed to leave. Little do they know that i wouldnt ever be alone if i could help it. when im alone i feel like a loser, like im nothing. when im not making jokes or talking to girls regardless if theyre a love interest, im sad. its like theres something wrong with me or something missing that can only be filled when im around people. sometimes i think about suicide, but im too scared to even do it. my family thinks im the best, so i cant tell them the truth. now i have to lie, becuase if anything, i care what they think of me.
jujo6021 jujo6021
2 Responses Mar 30, 2011

i was like that i still am today although not so much now because i spoke to the doctor and it turned outy i had depression. i now have a lot of help with therapsists and the doctors they have helped get so far with this type of thing and now i can talk to my close friends about it which helps even more :D it will get better :)

II do the same thing... I can't stand for people to see me sad or upset. People know me as funny. Sometime I want to be known more than Just funny. I'm going crazy inside but no matter how hard I try I cannot be angry towards the people I love and show them the real me behind closed doors. I've had enOugh? Could this be a mental illness?