Been Thinking (never A Good Idea)

i've been contemplating the meaning of "life". not in the context of "the meaning of life" but the meaning of the word "life". to me "life" means living, living means enjoying the life you live.

my doctor told me a while back that if i didn't change my life then i will die fairly young, likely by the time i turn 60. my thoughts on this have brought me to a conclusion, if i change my life and give up the things i like in favor of things i hate, i'm not truly living, i'm merely existing.

why would i wish to continue to exist if i'm not living? if i'm not enjoying the things i like in life then why struggle? why fight the depression? why fight the pain? why not just give up?

my doctor says i have to give up the one thing i have in my life that i still enjoy.......food that actually tastes good......he says i have to exercise more.....he says i must lose 60 pounds (at least) or i will most likely have a heart attack within the next few years. i say if i have to eat crappy food that i don't like.....if i have to deal with the pain and fatigue from exercise.......if i have to give up living......then i don't want to exist. let the heart attack kill me but let me enjoy life till then.

ihaveanameitsrick ihaveanameitsrick
46-50, M
12 Responses Mar 13, 2010

you have no idea how much walking hurts me....the only place available for me to walk is on parking lots and when i'm done walking the half hour my doctor says i should my feet, knees and back all feel like someone is jumping on them. i went 3 months walking nearly every day and eating nothing but grilled chicken and garden salads and i lost a grand total of 3 pounds. its simply not worth the pain. as for good tasting low fat foods....i live in a truck i spent 314 days on the road last year so unless those foods are on the menu in truckstops or fast food joints i don't have access to them

You have to think of things differently.refr<x>ame them so to speak.excercise I dont like it but when I do it its my time.I think of getting stronger and challenge myself.If I di say 20 mins on the treadmill I challange myself to do 25 or 30.then reward yourself something cheap but not food.a good book a new dvd or amovie out...why not.you r here for a reason you just dont know the here and why but u r!!!!!!hope this has helped and u can make really good food that is low fat.

If I truly lived, then that would be my potential. Because I don't see anything else that makes sense in "life" other than "living" it. So long as you live up to your own merit so to speak. <br />
But maybe i am biased to my personal stand on life, regardless though I would assume that your personal values in life weigh more than somebody else's , like your doctor!

how would you know if you lived up to your potential? i have no idea what my potential may be though i would guess that by my age i have probably already peaked. dying doesn't really scare me it would almost be a relief at this point but the other potential issues, going blind or losing a limb scare the hell out of me

It wouldn't be for me though. I mean If I live ...truly live....I live up to my true potential....note this is living truly in all ways and on all levels...and living up to my true potential makes life complete...and if life is complete then it does not matter when or how or why I die. It matters what I lived! <br />
Furthermore, who says living until you've turned 90 is somehow worth it? Who says that is what you are supposed to do?<br />
<br />
=)

problem is.....if i live....truly live.....then i will die within 5-10 years.....heart attack, maybe a stroke....or better yet i don't die, instead i go blind, or lose a limb....tough decision

Don't exist, LIVE. By any means, just LIVE

i've wondered sometimes what's the point of going on if you're not really enjoying your life?

thanks

,,,,,,,,,hugsss,,,,,,,,

i won't do anything to purposely kill myself again but i won't go out of my way to avoid it

I tried to hang myself because I am tired of being alone I to think I will die young but really dont care right now so what are we to do Rick what are we to do hugss my friend