The First Time I (ab)used Adderall

I went to the doctor for a “regular check-up,” as I was told by my parents, after the nurse had taken me into the doctor’s office she mentioned something about how I was here to see if I had ADD. I was furious at my parents for doing this to; it would have been fine if they had really told me why I was going to some strange new doctor for a “check-up,” but they had to resort to lying… Once the doctor came in, he requested I retrieve my father from the waiting area. After an uncomfortable talk he excused my father and let me talk to him privately. I felt very comfortable talking with him so I described recent drug abuse and depression. I had lied about only smoking several times a month. He was very nice to me and didn’t seem to bash marijuana like most modern doctors do. I was contemplating asking him how he felt about medical marijuana, but it was too late. He asked me to retrieve my parents so we could talk about my academic history. Sad that I had to see my parents again, I walked over and called them in. One of the nurses said goodbye, and I awkwardly told her what I was actually doing. I was pleased that he didn’t mention anything that I had told him in private to my parents. We talked; and he started me on a trial of 15mg of Addy IR (Instant Release) after telling me I was a “textbook” case of ADD. I feel like my father made me get diagnosed as a mere excuse for my poor academic performance, (I could meet and exceed standards, but I honestly didn't and still don’t care about school). I doubted that I had ADD because I had heard many times that you don't get high from low hits of Addy if you truly have ADD. This could be myth or fact, all I know is that I found it incredibly strange how high I had gotten from my first 15mg tablet.

I was awoken at 9:11 or so to take my pill. I could hear my father telling my mom that he didn’t want me to ever handle the prescription bottle. My mom made a few witty remarks and gave me my pill with a cup of cheap, over-sweetened tea with milk; exactly how I DON’T like it. After easily swallowing the pill, I turned my portable DVD player on and started watching Blades of Glory. I usually would use my TV, but I didn’t have the remote and had no desire to get up to turn it on. My DVD player had lost its charge and died after about 45 minutes. I got bored, and decided to try to go back to sleep. As I laid there I had many compulsive twitches and shivers accompanied by waves of nausea. Also, despite the fact that I was completely wrapped in a blanket, I felt extremely cold, but couldn’t stop sweating; a fascinating paradox. This would normally be very uncomfortable, but euphoric feelings flooded throughout my body, and I felt completely safe, comfortable, and content. I figured this was the peak of my high and decided I would enjoy it while it lasted. I stayed awake and directed all of my focus into what I was feeling; it was an exhilarating experience that was very unfamiliar to me because this was the first amphetamine I had ever had. About an hour into my high I had fallen asleep, I recall this being one of the best naps I have ever had, in spite of the fact that I usually can’t sleep under the influence of Adderall without using another drug. After waking up again, I laid in bed for about two hours. I didn’t move at all except to relieve the tension on my arm that had caused it to go numb. I thought that music would be nice, as it usually is when you are high, and I was not disappointed at all; the music I was listening to sounded out of this world. I found infinite interest in the music and sat around listening to the same EP for a couple hours. I barely started coming down from the high. Having no experience with Adderall, or pills in general I decided to research it a bit, hopping around different drug forums trying to find how people ingested the drug and what experiences they had. I learned a bit about how people took the drug, I knew the main three ingestion methods, (swallowing, snorting, and plugging), but didn’t know much more than that. I found out that I should take a shot of baking soda mixed into water right before taking my pills to maximize the efficiency at which the drug was absorbed into my bloodstream. I found out how to take Adderall XR (eXtended Release) without having the second half of the dose absorbed hours after the first half. I also briefly read about how Addy has a horrible comedown. I ignored this because I had other drugs and the synergy effect had never failed me. I felt extremely paranoid that there was someone behind me even though I was alone in my room with the door firmly closed. I just didn’t want one of my parents to come in and make bore me with their horrible and forced conversation. The increased perception and awareness had done this to me. I found myself constantly pausing and un-pausing my music to see if I heard someone around my room. Many times all that I heard was silence, even though I thought I had heard something. I tried to watch a Two and a Half Men, but found the humor to be incredibly mundane and stupid. I usually prefer movies and shows over music when I’m high, but this just seemed boring and stupid to me. I put my music back on and started to talk to people on Facebook. I felt very intrigued by people’s boring lives. I felt very creative and social, as I usually do while high. I was able to talk to people that I usually wouldn’t have anything to say to. I still hadn’t gotten dressed and had no desire to. I felt like a zombie, as many users describe themselves while on the drug. I didn’t feel like doing anything other than listening to music and typing. After an hour I had the energy to get out of my comfortable executive chair to see what was happening upstairs. I felt strangely comfortable around my parents, probably just because this was a prescription. They were also strangely kind to me. I figured this was because a short, fat man in a smock with an upturned collar had told me that I had a mental handicap. I felt somehow on a lower social status than I had the day before, but was too high to care. I had no inhibitions or feelings other than pure bliss. I continued to listen to the same EP; it was only four songs, but very fascinating nonetheless. My mom delivered me another pill, and I gladly took it. This time I had made a mistake; I took the pill with orange juice because I lacked a different beverage. The acidity reduces the half-life of the amphetamines and results in reduced effects. After about 30 minutes I noted that my high had gotten stronger than but not as strong as after I took my first pill. Sadly, I had already developed tolerance and knew that I would never achieve that same high on this miniscule dose. I knew I had to take the pills my parents gave to me and save them until I had at least 60mg of delicious amphetamines. I went to my driver’s ed class later that day to retake the final that I had miserably failed the first time. I only got 10 wrong, as opposed to my first try that I had missed 22 questions on. I finally knew why so many college students binged on this mysterious drug while studying for finals. I had done more than 50% better while high on Adderall. I had an epiphany that evening while being driven home; I realized that I could fly through schoolwork with minimal effort and maintain a high GPA. I loved this drug.

I found out why so many people had said this drug had ruined their lives, and why others said to stay away from it because of how addictive it is. Under the influence of this drug I could work harder and faster than while sober, and sleep less while working more. I normally have no desire to do work, but doing work on amps felt very rewarding for no apparent reason. I fell in love with it. I had been coming down since after the test, I felt worse than I had before, but still better than while unaltered. Once I was home I continued what I was doing before; music. The lines: “why feel low when you can feel high?” inspired me to rail two more pills. One of my friends had warned me of how “once you snort something you can’t stop.” I took no fear as I felt I was mentally strong enough to fight addiction. The euphoria was intense. I was rolling so hard that I felt like I was on the top of the world. I started watching a movie and noticed that the footsteps I heard in the movie were mistaken for real footsteps. I had to pause and un-pause the movie until I realized that my altered hearing was causing me to think this, and that it was no more than over-thinking things. I mindlessly listened to music, I felt like a ghost. I had no reason to move or think. I was coming down. I started to take shots of whiskey to try to put myself to sleep. It didn’t work. I was going to be wired all night.
This concludes my experiences and I have two words to describe this drug: unrivaled efficiency.
Cannabisconnoisseur Cannabisconnoisseur
18-21, M
Sep 6, 2012