I Am Hungry

I have noticed, that relationships that are formed online, even if they do not become physical, can become intense psychologically.

There are a lot of people who are not necessarily looking for love, but are lonely and emotionally hungry. Emotional hunger is not love, it's a need to fill an emptiness or void in your life. Emotional hunger is a powerful, and sometimes confused with genuine love and affection.

Emotional hunger can be created by a trauma that happened in your life, or your childhood. There can be many causes. For example, I lost my mother at a very young age. I never had a female role model that gave me the emotional love and support that mothers typically give to their sons in their tender years.

The loneliness and emptiness I feel at times, and try to fill, is related to this emotional void, the emotional need, caused by deprivation in my childhood; growing up without a female presence or influence in my early years.

This emotional hunger can be very painful, and both mentally and physically draining. I have suffered from anxiety and insomnia most of my life. I have learned others suffer from a wide range of ailments like low self esteem, isolation and anger, which if not overcome or treated, can limit and affect a person for a lifetime.

Online everyone is perfect. We only allow people to see what we want them to see; no problems, no mortgage, no bills or encumbrances. We only post the best pictures of ourselves. Online there is a level of anonymity that allows us to say and share things with strangers and others, that we would not share with loved ones, allowing us to bond much easier.

I thought; this may be true for most people, but for me, it wasn't true, as I always try to be open and honest, and have no problem putting it out there for all to see.

After further thought, in some form or fashion, we all want to be accepted, loved and seen as attractive, including me.
It is hard to recognize our own shortcomings, much less admit them to others, especially if we are trying to make friends.

If we do not share our daily problems and worries, and instead share our fantasies and dreams, of course others look attractive to us. The anonymity allows us to hide our imperfections, and be whoever we want to be. At the same time, our needs are being met, whatever they may be.
A powerful combination, that can be intoxicating.

Understanding the causes of trauma and emotional hunger, has helped me to build inner strength, mitigate further dysfunction, and grow as a person.
Amantcul Amantcul
56-60, M
4 Responses Jan 15, 2013

On this global live 7 miliard people,about 4 mil go every night sleep hungry of food at first,about 3 mil.go sleep hugry emotionally...Thank you,cause you clear desribe this big problem

Well-defined observations - nice job.

I think there are maybe a couple other things can cause the 'hunger' ... isolation or neglect come to mind - maybe insanity(?) ... and maybe those ARE traumas in an abstract way.

Your last paragraphs really nail it. We can be open and honest as is possible, and we will STILL - maybe especially here at Ep - tend to share those things which others might find attractive or entertaining ... ESPECIALLY when dealing with someone who attracts us. I don't know if that's human nature or not, but it seems very human - if not humane.

Again, I like this post - cogent. Cogent isn't always easy for me. Good writing.

Thank you for your comments, I always appreciate hearing what people think about what I write.

Thank-you very much for giving me this link :)

You're welcome! I hope it gave you a little clarity.

another perspective perhaps :)

Your friend is correct.... some country singer wrote a song a few years back. Something like.....I'm so much cooler on line......