Then Again..

I think I can remember this:

In view of your manner of spending your days,
I hope you may learn before ending them,
That the effort you spend in defending your ways,
Could better be spend in amending them.

Piet Hein, probably the best modern poet.

Unfortunately, bullies aren't just on the playground.

Good writing skills.

I guess that the fact that most people find what I say only half funny makes me half witty...")

"How sharper than a serpent's tooth!" a well formulated response

Honesty is a strange creature!



Handled well and with empathy, it can encourage and inform, even though technically it is a lie (e.g. White lies used for honest reasons).



There are of course times when the unvarnished truth is essential (e.g. Scientific research, informing law makers and the courts), but that same truth is just brutal and counter-productive on other occasions, unless it takes into account the feelings or fears of the listeners (e.g. Theatre reviews, school reports, staff appraisals).



An intellectual narcissist almost certainly lacks sufficient "emotional intelligence" to consider the impact of their truth on their audience.

"If your purpose is to really help someone as opposed to reassuring one's own sense of awesomeness then you want your criticism to be constructive and not destructive." <--- Exactly!

I found that your post in addressing this issue hits the nail on its head quite nicely.



Although I believe it is never okay to tell a lie, honesty never has to be brutal in such a sense of the word. In my opinion, brutal honesty, although it may occasionally come from an intelligent person, is much like performing "hard" work in contrast to "intelligent" work. For example, one may work hard digging a hole in the ground. What purpose does that hole serve? You could perform intelligent work on the other hand by digging a hole in the ground in order to reach underground pipes that need maintenance. There is at purpose in that.



There is always something positive to say about someone. Often, there's so much positive to find in an individual that all you have to do is take a brief look. Sometimes it's not that hard to find. Sometimes it is. But it's always there. In the same way there are always negatives, but focussing on the negative aspect of things never helps anyone.



If your purpose is to really help someone as opposed to reassuring one's own sense of awesomeness then you want your criticism to be constructive and not destructive. Let's not give too much undue credit to the negatives, shall we? Positive aspects about someone are always worth more than any negative aspect that you may find.

Very true, Prince. It just isn't worth it. The virtual world has taken down many appropriate boundaries for many people. In the real world, they may live their lives letting bygones be bygones but online, they will do the opposite because they don't have to face the reality that there is actually another human being on other end of that communication.



I know most people won't accept responsibility for their actions, but I'm an idealist. I like to at least try to pop out the occasional public service annoucement in hopes that it'll give people another point of view to keep in mind.

clarkee: You doubt that it's possible to think before you speak everytime? I would have to disagree with that.. (if it is indeed what you're saying.)

i doubt that is possible all the time.



i dont try to say hurtful things to people and usually i dont but once in a while when something strikes me, i might say something "brutally honest". it just comes out and without sounding like i have a 'god complex' when it just comes out its usually just the right thing to say. people usually respond to a hurt if its in the right kind of hurt. does that make sense? once in a while its not the right thing to say but i would atone for that. its just not possible, at least for me, sometimes to think first. i admire you if you can.

I have found sometimes, that those who are super intelligent, can often be so focused on "learning and information" that they can tend to forget the more "human" qualities like understanding and compassion. Mostly, I think their critiques are not given in a mean or malicious manner but could be far more helpful if delivered with an extra helping of tact and sensitivity!

Well written, we always need to be careful. You can also say that as you point your finger at someone you have three pointing right back at you.

I hope that whom ever this person is reads this. Well written, constructive and informative. Thank you Intelligently.

Sometimes an honest critique is worth a lot but, repeatedly pointing out mistakes is a bit snobbish.

Encouragement comes in many forms but the best kind is the one that inflates the ego at the same time.