Then Again..There's also the other side of the coin.
I've just read something written by someone I consider to be a very intelligent, creative and sensitive individual. The words he wrote in this particular instance were clearly the product of bruised ego and hurt feelings. People have had it "up to here" with his brazen and brutal critiques of their writing pieces and apparently several of them have taken the time to inform him of this. He took offense.. yet he defended his "honesty" even though it had hurt many people.
I can relate to this mans plight. I know all too well the weight of perfectionism and I can err on being just as critical of others as he is. In fact, this write itself is a critique of sorts. I guess the difference between us is that somewhere along the way, I realized that when you point a finger at someone else without first examining your own heart and life, you can only do more harm than good. This person hasn't realized that yet. In his mind, he is doing people a service by telling them "the ugly truth" about themselves. Granted, he also throws in embellished compliments with his cruel critques, but he has no happy medium. He refuses to see that he himself has much room for improvement.
A proper term for what this person (and others like him) are, is an "intellectual narcissist". They are someone who believes their opinions to be so firmly ba
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to understand that you catch more bees with honey.
I believe there comes a time in most peoples lives when they are faced with the harsh reality that they are so far from perfect that they would do well to apply more effort to fixing themselves rather than fixing everyone else in their lives. But there are those of us who are so afraid of facing our own ugliness that we cannot see past our self righteousness enough to realize that we are the ones who need the most help. And no matter how good a persons intentions are, at the end of the day, the proof of the pudding is in the eating. If you leave a trail of hurt feelings and pain behind you whenever you open your mouth, you might need to learn to just keep your mouth shut.
When it comes to expressing the "ugly truth", the Bible cautions us to do so with love. Love is ultimately the key to all of the problems we face in this life and few people really ever latch on to that idea and start to run with it. But whenever you encounter one of these people, you know it. Their grace and mercy shines a softer light on your own shortcomings so that you see your flaws for yourself and eventually develop your own personal desire to grow and evolve into something better than you are.
In dealing with others, no matter how intelligent you may be, it is always best to lead by example. Hypocrisy hidden behind a cloak of "brutal honesty" is still hypocrisy.
"Life and death are in the power of the tongue"..
Intelligently 31-35, F 15 Responses 10 May 15, 2011