"Assume no gender"
"Sex is *******, gender is everything else"
(---reserved for an actual story! Will edit in one later!---)
In the meantime, take this gender aptitude test.
Also, read hir books. I haven't read all of them, but I strongly recommend the ones that I have.
Gender Outlaw: On Men Women and the Rest of Us
Hello Cruel World: 101 Alternatives to Suicide for Teens, Freaks and Other Outlaws (I bought this one! I can't find Gender Outlaw anywhere D:)