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Inspiration

This started out as a confession last night.  But I think it is better served here. 

 

 

My middle girl is sick.  AGAIN.  Let me tell you about her.

She'll be 5 in June. 

She was born sick.  I almost died during her delivery.  And when she was born it was traumatic.  We both had fevers.  And she was jaundice with in hours.  She came into this world sick.  =(  I was discharged from the hospital before she was.  Leaving there without my her, without my baby was one of the hardest things I ever did.

At two months old she was hosptialized with a fever of almost 105.  104.7 was the offical temp.  She hadn't ate all day.  She was sooo sick.   They went to put her IV in and she was sooo dehydrated the only vien they could find was on the top of her head.  I spent 3 days in the hospital with her.  That first night scared the **** out of me.  I hope you never have to pack a 2 month old baby in towels soaked with ice to bring down a fever that high.  Did I mention it was that high WITH motrin AND tylenol in her!  I thought I was going to lose her.

Since then she is sick every other month.  Ask anyone who knows me...Tarquinn, Lost, De, anyone in my RL.    She no sooner gets over one thing and is sick again.  She is hospitalized at least once every year.  A simple stomache bug will take her there every year.  It lasts at least a week with her and she gets so dehydrated and low in potassium she ends up a few days in the hospital.

She was diagnosed with asthma at 2.  Any hopes we have of her out growing it are pushed further  and further away every year.  It keeps getting worse.  Which only complicates any illness she gets, even a cold.  =/

Tonight we found out she has strep...AGAIN.

But you know what?  She NEVER lets it get her down!!  She still smiles.  Still loves.  Still wants to live life and play and do all the things you shouldn't do when you're sick.  Tarquinn calls her superstar.  She is very infectious...in a good way.  =) 

Tonight even, with her fever of 102, and telling me her throat was on fire as she started to lose her voice...she still smiled up at me.  Hugged me.  And skipped...yes SKIPPED...off.

I wonder if she'll ever know the inspiration she is to me.  When life gets her down she keeps on smiling.  Keeps going.  The last time she had a stomache flu, she was smiling and trying so hard until she colapsed and could no longer stand on her own legs.  She no longer had the strength.  It was only then the tear ran down her face and she said, "mommy, I can't stand.  Help me."  Broke my heart!!  She even knows it's okay to ask for help.  Of course, I always want to help her!!

She is such an inspiration to me.  I hate how sick she is ALL THE ******* TIME.  I wonder if she would know what to do if she was actually a healthy kid.  She is such a happy, fun little person now.

I love my little superstar, and on days like this when life kicks me in the teeth, I look at her, and draw my strength.  She is an inspiration to me.


ChristineJones ChristineJones 31-35, F 21 Responses May 5, 2010

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She is such a fantastic littly girl with a very strong mother with so much Love.

Beautiful

I wonder if she has a problem with her immune system? Several illnesses in a year is one of the signs doctors are supposed to watch out for to check for certain immune system disorders.<br />
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Has she been investigated fully for those?

This actually brought a tear to my eye....

Really inspiring little daughter :)

What a brave solider she is, I hope that all the pain she has in her life pays off for her someday, by becoming a person of the heart who can make a difference in a person's life. I do not know if she will live up to your dreams as parents have hopes for their children, who they see fall and cry only to get up once again and try until there is no more tears but a smile on their face. I am glad she has a loving mother like you there who cries with her, knowing that it could happen again but not letting her fear it, but to one day embrace that it is no longer there, it went away with her tears and fears. Please keep on fighting the fight with your precious ray of sunlight, as you and her will be in the prayers of those who read this.<br />
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Hope she gets well<br />
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Sincerely, Country

OMG. I know what it is like to have a 2 month old in the hospital with tubes all over them and worrying about them and the life they may or may not have. I am sending prayers and hugs and kisses for you and your little girl!!! There is nothing more heart wrenching than watching your child suffer. I so wish that I could help you…I know it must be hard to keep up your strength….but it seems like you are doing an incredible job - finding that silver lining. It isn't always easy, but it's important, and most likely why your baby has such a wonderful, happy, outlook on life!! She absolutely is an inspiration :)

Wow...*hugs to you and big big big bear hugs to her. *Hugs and kisses to everyone in your family trying your best to make her life as healthy as possible. I started to cry reading your story. I hope she is able to stay strong and her immune system kicks in one day:)

I pray god give her lots of happiness and strength in life.. She is superstar, Sometimes life play with us and we realli dont knw how to revert back.. The only way is SMILE. This is the way to solve all the problems. My blessing always with u and for lill angel. She's defiantly will get back soon and recover all problem. God bless both of u.

AW~!! Thank you honey!

I came to look at your profile for one reason but have ended up totally admiring you for something so far removed from that!!! Bless you and your daughter. Her spirit must come from the love that you give her.

thank you.<br />
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She hasn't grown in a year! Her asthma steroid she needs is starting to stunt her growth. The dr.'s are playing a wait and see approach. Watch it a little longer. I hate this. Thank God for her wonderful spirit!

aww beautiful story

She's 5 today!! =)

She's a real superstar, and you are a great mommy. Blessings on both of you, I hope and pray she recovers and becomes a truly healthy wonderful little girl. X@

AW! thank you so much honey!! *hugs*

CJ, thanks for this post. Your daughter's story is inspiring and is a tribute to positive thinkers that overcome so much in their life. I read this and had tears in my eyes but I also have this deep admiration for the tenacity of this child to lead a normal life through adversity and for her mother because children learn by example. ((hugs))

AW! Thanks Mutargim!

actually ..your article is an inspiration to every reader

I commented on this when it was a confession, but as a story it is better. You have nothing to confess with this story.. You are a mother concerned for your child. To share your anxiety shouldn't make you feel like your confessing a fault, but relieving some stress by relating to others with similar experiences.

Thanks hon. *hugs*