I Adore My Daughter
This started out as a confession last night. But I think it is better served here.
My middle girl is sick. AGAIN. Let me tell you about her.
She'll be 5 in June.
She was born sick. I almost died during her delivery. And when she was born it was traumatic. We both had fevers. And she was jaundice with in hours. She came into this world sick. =( I was discharged from the hospital before she was. Leaving there without my her, without my baby was one of the hardest things I ever did.
At two months old she was hosptialized with a fever of almost 105. 104.7 was the offical temp. She hadn't ate all day. She was sooo sick. They went to put her IV in and she was sooo dehydrated the only vien they could find was on the top of her head. I spent 3 days in the hospital with her. That first night scared the **** out of me. I hope you never have to pack a 2 month old baby in towels soaked with ice to bring down a fever that high. Did I mention it was that high WITH motrin AND tylenol in her! I thought I was going to lose her.
Since then she is sick every other month. Ask anyone who knows me...Tarquinn, Lost, De, anyone in my RL. She no sooner gets over one thing and is sick again. She is hospitalized at least once every year. A simple stomache bug will take her there every year. It lasts at least a week with her and she gets so dehydrated and low in potassium she ends up a few days in the hospital.
She was diagnosed with asthma at 2. Any hopes we have of her out growing it are pushed further and further away every year. It keeps getting worse. Which only complicates any illness she gets, even a cold. =/
Tonight we found out she has strep...AGAIN.
But you know what? She NEVER lets it get her down!! She still smiles. Still loves. Still wants to live life and play and do all the things you shouldn't do when you're sick. Tarquinn calls her superstar. She is very infectious...in a good way. =)
Tonight even, with her fever of 102, and telling me her throat was on fire as she started to lose her voice...she still smiled up at me. Hugged me. And skipped...yes SKIPPED...off.
I wonder if she'll ever know the inspiration she is to me. When life gets her down she keeps on smiling. Keeps going. The last time she had a stomache flu, she was smiling and trying so hard until she colapsed and could no longer stand on her own legs. She no longer had the strength. It was only then the tear ran down her face and she said, "mommy, I can't stand. Help me." Broke my heart!! She even knows it's okay to ask for help. Of course, I always want to help her!!
She is such an inspiration to me. I hate how sick she is ALL THE ******* TIME. I wonder if she would know what to do if she was actually a healthy kid. She is such a happy, fun little person now.
I love my little superstar, and on days like this when life kicks me in the teeth, I look at her, and draw my strength. She is an inspiration to me.
