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Oct 17th, 2008
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y little brother is amazing! He's only 11 years old but I sometimes feel like I can learn a lot from him. He's not a genius or good at sports or anything. But he's such a wonderful caring and kind person! Everyone loves him. He's constantly trying to make everyone around him feel good. Whenever he gets something nice he usually comes and shares it with me. Whenever he's shopping with my mum she'll spend hours on explaining why she can't buy all those things - all those things he wants to buy for ME, not for himself.
I know I was always annoyed by my grandmother telling everyone how perfect and flawless I am and now I'm finding myself doing the same thing. He's just wonderful and I'm so glad to have him in my life. When he was born I actually asked my mum to trade him for a girl (I was 10... :) )
I also know he looks up to me a lot and it scares me. I'm really not the kind of person you'd want your kid to look up to. I haven't done anything really bad. I don't drink, never did drugs or smoked. if anything I missed out on a lot of life experience. But I'm really messed up. I struggle with so many problems that I barely have to strength to look out for him anymore and I feel like he'd deserve so much better! He's been through so much with my family... the same stuff that got me where I am today. And I'm so scared that it might haunt him one day like it haunts me. He was too small to know what i know but there have sure been some traumatic experience in his childhood. He's more careful and more scared to lose people than he should be at his age. He should be fighting me instead of clinging to my every word. He should yell back when I yell at him. But he is who he is. And I'm very very proud at that little person!
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  | Posted Oct 17th, 2008 at 8:04PM, last updated Oct 17th, 2008 at 8:05PM I was very touched to read your story Nesikha, and I can completely relate! I went through a lot of trauma at the hands of my father when I was a kid. My little brother was just a baby/toddler and I protected him the best I could. I too, worried so much that he would have to feel the same way I did. Thankfully, my brother was much less effected by things than I thought. In fact, he barely remembers so of the things that hurt me so much. Your little brother sounds wonderful, and he is very very lucky to have such a protective, loving big sister! +2 nods   |
 | Posted Oct 17th, 2008 at 10:17PM thank you very much wanderlust! I always try to tell myself that he is not me and that i shouldn't worry too much, but it's difficult. so hearing that you were in a similar situation and things turned out to be okay really helps! :) I also read the story about your brother and he sounds great! ;) |
 | Posted Jan 5th, 2009 at 8:59PM Hi Nesikha, Your love for your little Brother is beautiful. I'm sure he has benefited from the love and devotion you have givin him. I'm sad for your pain. My life was insane when I was a little girl, but I had my Grandfather as my great protector, he loved me so much. My grandfather change my life with his love, and you have done the same for you little brother. Nesikha I hope that you can find the power within yourself to file away the past, and be happy. I think it would be a very big mistake to let your past continue to victimize your future. When your brother is older you don't want to talk about the creepy past. When I was about 17 I came up with a saying for myself. If I live my life based on my bad experiences, I will never have good ones. When my brothers and sisters and I get together, it's all about the past. i don't get together with them often because of it. Take Care, Your brother is going to be fine, because of you! |
 | Posted Jan 22nd, 2009 at 3:18PM Great story - inspiring and sweet! |
 Feeling ecstatic | Posted Jun 10th, 2009 at 4:36PM It sounds like your little brother has the perfect role model in you. You can teach him how to deal with what he is going through in a way that someone should have been able to teach you. You can show him the strength to persevere through hardship and how to appreciate the joy that follows. As a younger brother a ask you please try to protect the sweet innocent child you describe here as best you can, because once it's gone it never comes back all the way. Someday he'll be an adult and you can look back at this time and what you taught him and be proud to say "I am his older sister" and someday he'll say "I am thankful to have a sister like you". |
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