FrustratedI need to vent...this is sooooo hard. I feel like giving up! I started this process about a month ago, and have been on a roller coaster ride ever since. I don't particularly like roller coasters. Inducing is SOOOOOOOOOO HARDDDDDDDDDDD! And it's really difficult when you don't have a special someone to do it for, and to help you out. Some days I feel all I do is; Pump, drink Mother's Milk tea, massage, take herbs, drink lots of water, REPEAT! Lactating/Inducing is not only physically and emotionally demanding, but it hits you in the bank account as well. Herbs, teas, etc are not cheap folks! I have joined a few ANR/ABF sites and 95% of the members who have contacted me either want 1.) A casual on demand (for them) breasfeeding fling or 2.) A sexual encounter which includes breastmilk. The other 5% seem to live in San Diego (about 2 hours away from me) Andddd, to add insult to injury, I am a hormonal mess. I'm starting to get a few drops-which is GREAT! However, now my body is confused about what is going on and my hormones are weaking HAVOC. Sometimes I get irritated by all of this and other times, I cry my eyes out! And yes, I have met someone who is : Wonderful and nurses PHENOMENALLY, and is attractive, and is successful, and is MARRIED, and has no time for me, and, and , and.... I am just tryng to find someone special who needs to nurse as much as I need to feed him/her. I need someone who wants this and understands all the a nursing/breasfeeding relationship entails; from the physical, to the emotional, to the financial, to the spritutal. I now understand why so many people have been looking for YEARS...this is a monumental task.
Thank you for listening. I feel better now. Maybe, I just needed to get that off of my chest.. Haha pun intended!