Hurt/pain/frustrated/and So Is He

after 8months of not breaking up and sticking by eachother so much drama and pain. He doesnt trust me at all because of what i did. he hates me for it. but still hes by myside. he was my first. but i did da stupidist thing i ended up with someone else. dn we got bak together he took me back. after dat i thought he wouldnt but he did. i dont know y? but he did. well thats da reason where here now. he doesnt trust me at all..throws it on my face everytime he gets. wat he doesnt know is that i want to forget and not remeber dat part of my life cuz i regret it so much. and i hate myself for it as well. my boyfriend has to know where im at 24/7 im on da fone with him at all times except wen im at work. If i dont answer him gets mad and starts acussing me of cheating and bn with someone else. i have to take pictures every hour at work so he could see im at work. i dont have a social life . im not even suppose to be on here.  i stopd talking too all my friends. ive bn embarassed at work by him. my prom was da first day he grabed me to keep me n da car. after dat incident things got worser. everytime i try geting away cuz i feel like i cant take it he grabs me the more i fite to get away the more he hurts me. He pinches me my stomach my neck. i remember geting into it with him in his car and his house we went at it till he gets me in a headlock and i cant do nothing. dis one went too far he actually chocked me. but im still with him. he says he sorry but sometimes he doesnt. hes called me so many names for prom he called me a **** rite wen he saw me cuz he didnt like my dress dat he didnt want to go no more cuz he was embarassed. dat hurt me a lot. i dont know wat to do i never thought i would be dis girl takiing **** from a guy. but i m and  i dont know how to get away
babiiegirlheartache babiiegirlheartache
18-21, F
1 Response Nov 4, 2006

Dearie Auntie Boedacia encourages you (and anyone who reads your story and see themselves, since this was so long ago) to get to a womens shelter/counsleing center and talk to someone. This is the classic scenario leading to more serious abuse both mental and physical. I worry for you.