I Am The Cheated And Not The CheaterMy first boyfriend in college had a girlfriend back home in Philly. I did not know until AFTER we parted ways, he graduated and moved ack home. My best friend and future boyfriend (now ex, too, but he was faithful and we still talk) told me he overheard him in study class talking about her.
The guy I thought I would marry cheated on me. He is in the National Guard. He went away (visiting home twice) for a year deployment in Afghanistan. I was faithful, wrote him many letters, called him many times and he called and wrote me, sent each other packages, I stayed very close w/ his family (still am, actually...his brothers think of me as a sister still). After all that waiting and support, less than a month after returning his demeanor changed and he drifted. Long story short, he banged a girl and she got pregnant all while I was trying to get us to talk about what was going on! Even his mom asked me once if I knew where he was like he just disappeared. He never even broke up w/ me 1st!
I was extremely hurt. People told him how wrong he was. My mother said he should have rewarded my support w/ an engagement ring. His family felt really bad. His 10 (at the time he was 10) yr old son expressed his regret, even by telling me, "I tried to tell you about Cheryl" (her name). Broke my heart to hear it from him. I made sure to let him know I'd always love him and it wasn't his fault (kids tend to blame themselves thinking they could have done something to stop it). It was his dad's responsiblity to be honest.
Cheating is selfish. it hurts people. Hearts and feelings are fragile. I don't cheat, but I have HURT ME stamped on my face.