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I'M Too Nice...

My ex-fiancee and i were together for 6 years off and on and she cheated on me over 11 times, but I kept giving her more and more chances... I know i should've gotten away sooner but i'm terrified of what i'll do when i'm alone... I would never inflict this pain on anyone else. nobody deserves it
Arcentine Arcentine 18-21, M 2 Responses Feb 20, 2013

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I am sorry to hear about what she did it is never easy finding out the truth about someone whom you cared for dearly. The advice i can give you is go on with youre life give youre heart time to heal. I know its not an easy path but in the end you will only be stronger and God protects you. He puts obstacles on our paths to test us and to make sure we become more stronger and he only wants to protect you and give you all the love you deserve. But just remember never compare all girls with youre ex fiance cause not all woman are cheaters you get youre good woman but unfortunately men make mis use of good woman. Always stay true to yourself, having an open relationship with someone you love is just wrong. If you are in a relationship you and the other person are the only people in the relationship she wasn't the right one for you there is someone better out there who is not going to cheat on you, you are going to find someone who will give their left foot to be with you. Remember keep strong. God is youre protector and he loves you dearly.

i hope so..i've lost all faith in humanity as of late

Never loose faith in God or our humanity just remember like i said not all woman are the same as youre ex fiance what she has done is selfish and people like that should go and live on a island. I was also in a 6 year relationship when i was younger he also cheated on me and also left me eventually my heart got healed after a while a started dating again and got hurt by the second guy i was with. And afterwards i was single for a few months and then dated another guy whom i was with for a year and 9 months in the end he broke my heart pretty badly also. I will never give up hope either way if io feel down or so. What i am trying to say is never let youre past relationship get in the way of youre happiness i know its very hard cause having a broken heart of someone who you spend most of youre life with is hard to move on. You seem like a very sweet and nice person and you do not deserve this nobody does. Believe me when i tell you that youre heart will heal and you will find someone more superb someone whom is worth loving. Give youre heart time to heal as well as if i were you i would be single for a while. But one thing you musnt do is jump into a rebound relationship.

its been 4 months..and i just feel like i'll never meet anyone who will love me ever again

You will meet someone new believe me i also thought the same thing as you i met new guys. Every pot has got its lid. The thing is what people tend to do is go look for that someone and you must go out looking for love. It will come to you when you least expect it. Just the remember a breakup has got stages where you have to overcome all thosde feelings you have and in the end of the stages you just seem to get over the person eventually. By being alone for a while is better then jumping into a new relationship cause you feel lost and lonely. I also do get lonely but i keep myself occupied with keeping myself busy as well as spending time with my family and friends. If you keep yourself busy you will see it will be easier to move on with youre life and youre heart will also heal more faster.

ive been occupying myself but im being swallowed by depression

You should meet more people then perhaps? :) maybe you'll find someone whom you can really bond with..without all that crappy pretenses & games. ;)

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You needed to take a different approach, all girls are different, but she sounds like a free spirit, the only bad part is that you felt jailed in the relationship. you should have the same freedoms equally. I would speak to her about an open relationship where she is your number 1 and you hers, but you still get to experiment with other partners.... I wish you the best of luck.

thanks but she had always said if i'd left she would kill herself. Or if i did what she did.

Yeah they do that. There was a guy here, and he used to tell his wife that if she left he would commit suicide. it was bull s#it. he did shoot himself when she left, but he made sure he hit no vital organs and called 911 immediately. Don't take empty threats, and if she does commit suicide; that is her choice, and not your fault. This is a about fairness. if she can do it so can you, it's that simple, if she doesn't like it she can get out. you have been more than generous, she should realize that.

i left. now i'm just looking for someone to love me and start healing myself ya know

That's good, but you are looking at it the wrong way. you shouldn't be out looking for someone to love. you should start by loving yourself. Go out, have fun, you're single now enjoy it as much as you can. Honestly I think this girl made you feel worthless, and unworthy of love to the point you started depending on her for love because you couldn't love yourself. To heal you will need to balance 4 things 1.physical 2. Emotional 3. Spiritual 4. Mental. When you can balance those into a healthy state only then can you be healed, because right now you want to love someone, but how can you give something you don't have? Smile champ go out have fun, and don't worry about finding someone to love you right now just have fun. I wish you the best of luck.

idk how to not feel so worthless

you probably feel alone also. I was going to suggest to hit up the bars, but that's the worse possible idea right now for you. play sports, go to six flags, and ride the roller coasters, just recharge your batteries you need it and deserve it man. your confidence didn't disappear over night. It was destroyed one day at a time, and that's how you will regain it. One day at a time.

i can't. no car. I'm stuck at my dorms with no friends is the problem.

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