Alcoholic Dad And The Effects In The Long Run Years Later!

Alcoholic Dad and the effects in the long run years later!

I was born in 1950 in a house where my dad was a drunk; from my berth I have bean suffering because of lack of love from the one person who could dun the most for me and that was my dad.

People will ask now you had your life now how do you put two and two together and come up with such a lame excuse, you could dun better for your self because at least you don’t need your dad to live your life for you!

In addition if I had a dad who care about me and my brothers we could have had a life to look out for as we went on in life, instead we had to look as a kid at him coming home with his bottle under his arm and no love at all!

Going to school was not a nice time at all because every one new him and, and told us what bad dad we had we never had really nice friends because all the kids who came from a better background was told not to mix with us.

Instead we had to play in the felt every day find something to play in ant heels or under rock because ordinary toys was not for us at all, My brother the clever one of us also took charge of us up to he went to the army after that he did not care much! In the meantime we live many years under the rule of my dad my Mother was the one who had to make sure we had food in the house most of the time.

Many times my mom would sent us to deferent neighbors with a cup to ask for ether some sugar or n bit of maze so that she could feed us the next morning before we went to school.

Going to school was not as pleasant as most other kids! We had to walk most of the time and then never had shoes to wear that are winter and summer! I remember time most of my toes were kicks very badly a gains rock and the skin was of at the tip of the toes! We will sit before school by the gate and held our toes in the dry sand to get a bit of cover over them so that the blood don’t mess the floor in classes.

Through the years where ever we went to school I remember that the best part was short brake when we use to get a half a pint of milk! Because even if we did not went to school with a hungry tummy, that extra bit of milk made our day.

People who knew my dad and where we stayed in Pretoria was not very nice to us at all because they treated us like that because they new my dad was a drunk. Riding in a bus was also not nice because the old lady’s will point us out and say there is that drunk guys kids!

The only love we got was from my mother she would make sure that there was always something there for us when we get home and the she will also make sure my dad get something to eat as well and many nights he will take the plate of food and brake it on the floor and beat my mom just because she had the food.

Who was visiting you were did you get the money for the food and that would go on until he pass out on the bed or on the couch! Many nights we were too scared to go in the room to go to sleep because my dad just beat the hell out of my mom for nothing at all.

I walk on one pay day with my dad to go and buy some food for the month he took me in the shop and ordered the Greek guy to fill a bag with a couple of things, then he told me to wait outside from the bottle store where he bought two bottle of brandy! He will brake the seal and open the bottle with his mouth spit the top in the street and drank the bottle down before we get to the corner of the street where we lived at the time, bent down throw the empty in the storm water drain and the came tumbling over his feet behind me!

Now that is a life fore a kid of 7 must look at his dad drunk all his life, I could never remember a day in my life where I saw my dad really sober!

Some people think it is funny to just drink and make babies but when the have to look after them they just don’t care how its done at all!

Many days when we get home my mom will tell us to keep quiet because my dad was there and is sleeping his drunkenness of in the room, we stayed in Pretoria north at one time and because we was not as well of as all the other kids toys was not something we had but we had a pet snake and a couple of tree rats which we played with in the felt next to our home.

The Jew over the streets sons came and look what we were doing in the felt so when they saw that we were playing with these animals they started teasing us that our dad was a drunk and could not buy us any toys! My brother jump up with this big snake “Cobra” we just break his teeth out every time it started coming out but they did not know about it!

So he chases them to there house because they was so up town people because their dad own a shop in town there was no fence around their house and they could not open the gauze doors fast enough and ran straight through it.

The old lady phone the old Jew and he came straight down to us and wanted to make a noise but when he saw what we wear playing with he just stood there and started asking what are we doing chasing his sons through the kitchen door.

Well my brother said because they were mocking us!
In what way the Jew said!
That our dad is a drunk and can not buy us some toys!
He then said that he is not cross at all and he wants us to come over after we made a plan with our toys!
We went over and, the dad took me first in the one boy’s room and said that I can choose any one of the toy’s on the floor!
He than told my big brother the same thing!

At least we had toys for some time and let the snake go!
Soon after that my Mother decided to divorcé my dad! God work with mysterious ways to keep families together! On that day my mother had everything packed my dad came home for the first time sober I did not even recognize him! But as my mom had so many problems in the past she went out and prayed to God to let her go that day!

My mom gave my dad some brandy and just as he fell asleep without beating her she then called a Taxi and we went to the station were we then departed for good, I remember just the night before my dad was beating my mom and we did not had a bed to sleep on we slept on clean washing on the floor! My sister who was very ell was thrown on the floor and my mom had a very bad beating! I sat with my head at the age of ten wedge in the corner of the kitchen and ask God to please help me to never become someone like my dad

We went to stay at my mom’s sister’s place in Alberton at the time she got a job but not enough to look after the four of us! We went to school for about six weeks after that we went and stay in the Red Cross! For another six months after we went to an orphanage!

I just want to stand still at this point! How can men who drink get it over their hearts to let their kids land up in a place like this?

I want to go back to the time we had to go to school with no shoes, walking with no shoes in the winter is not fun at all, we staid about three miles from school and those days there were not any pavements to walk on! And in the road we were not allowed to walk at all and had to walk in the grass next to the road!

The grass was mostly frozen at that time of the morning so was our toes, walking three miles in the frozen grass was not Childs play at all other kids with their parents will pass us in their cars and will not even stop to pick us up!

We will sit in the class room up to four ours with frozen stiff toes and had to keep un eye on the teacher as well, by big brake we will get some life back in our toes with pain shooting up in your legs.

All this just so that your dad can have a drink every night not caring about his kids!

In my whole life I can remember one Christmas where we got a present that was new, the rest of the time we had to do with second had presents from the uncle’s or aunts!

There would be nights that my mom fear for our life’s and told us to go and hid somewhere we sat on the roof of the out rooms we staid in up to 12 that night until my dad beat my mom twice! While we could not do a thing because we were too small doing anything!

I always loved my mom very much and there was a time I could remember telling my mom we must go away, but my mom still said she love my dad to much and he will come right one day.

But 14 years later and a lot of beating my mom took the brake on a Saturday morning, we helped her pack and I remember being so glad we were leaving my heart was beating like the whole morning like mad.

And when my dad came home sober I did not know what to think I rather want to go at that time because I know it will not last.

Many days we will think of my dad trying to look for a time we could see him sober other than that day, but we could not think of one day, we will look for days where we had really fun with our dad but there were non.

I remember times we went fishing at a dam but since we landed there till Sunday when we go home my dad was drunk and did not once played with us like other kids fathers did with them, there was not any ball in the car all you could find was empty brandy bottles!

Christmas or guy fox time we sometimes had some fire works but only if my grand mother gave it to us, most of the time my dad will come out of the room with a shotgun and shoot two or three round in the air, just so that we will have some scary fun for a minute or two!

From small we were told to collect the bottles most of the time we got a sixpence or two but we had to buy breed or something with it living out of brandy bottles in the meantime most of the time my dad will go to a club where he will get complimentary tickets and went to fill his belly with food.

While we were sitting with food my mom use to make from stuff she use to get from people feeling sorry for us, there was times when my dad will tel us he had this tickets and we could go this Sunday with him to have a meal at the club but that was just to get sum drinks on the Sunday.

I cant truly think of one day in my life where my dad took us somewhere without him getting drunk, every time he take us to a place it is where he could get a drink for free or where he could drink.
Even trips to the Zoo was to get some drinks, by some chips and now you can buy a beer or two as well because you bought some food from them.

When I went to the Red Cross that year in 1961 I was glad for once in my life I can go somewhere where drinks were not allowed but seeing my mother coming to visit us every time with her eyes red from crying was not fun at all!

You love someone and to sit and look at that person and see her heartbroken because she could not have you every day with her is heard it make a mark in your life.
I was already 40 years old and could not look a person straight in the eye because I feel I’m not worthy of their friendship at all!

Because my dad robed me from being a better person!

I where a sick kid from small and still sick today!

O! Why because if my dad care enough about me when I was small I might have being a much healthier person today!

When you go to a Red Cross or a Orphanage does not mean your problems stop there, no it does not stop because when I landed up in the Orphanage I met kids who were rather do better in a house of attention than where they were now they already have gone through the mill of drinking with their dads or mom sometimes!

Could not care less about you or the next person, will befriend you just to take advantage from you sent you to do things which you normally will not do!

AT the other end people who take you out for a holiday take charge of your life for their own benefit. The first time we went out for a short holiday I went to people in Jeppy “Johannesburg” they were not as good as any one ells and I mean they were drinking every day! They just took us out to go with their kids to go and sell some hats and flags at the Rugby stadium nearby.

The first time we went their kids let us do their entire job as well, but the second time they were dropped elsewhere and we were dropped at Ellispark.

I looked at my friend and he looked at me and because the Jeppy station was right by us we made a plan to ditch the auntie and sell the stuff until we had enough to go a ticket to go to the orphanage at 11 that morning we told the station master that our parents went of without us and we want to buy a ticket! He told us not to worry and told the conductor that we must go all the way to Potchefstroom! So we had some money to buy something to eat.

The Orphanage did one good thing and that was taking our word and took that people to court.

Living as a Orphan is not easy at all people in Potch as we call the place for short was very unfriendly to us kids because they believe that our parents was bad and we were bad as well.

Brings me to a story where we cut a old lady’s plum tree of because she treated as very bad when we asked her for some plums lying on the ground, She told us that we were Orphan dogs and we must beat it! We waited till she went to church that night and saw the tree of and ***** all the plums from it as well.

That Sunday the raven in church said that the people must please give the kids some fruit if the ask otherwise the will get their trees cut off!

After that when a lady stands by a rose bush and you just look at here she will give you a mighty fine bunch of roses just to get you away from her gate.

Now once again is this what you want your kids to go through in their lifes!

And then came my second holiday where people took me and with luck should be my friend Herculas same guy as before this time we went to a farm at Klerksdorp in the western Transvaal! The very first night we were there the old lady cal us in to the dining room sat as by the table, and told us that on this farm what she said is law!

First thing we will not wear our shoes on the farm because the will get damage as well as our good clothes and she will show us the next morning what we had to do.

At 04h00 that morning she shook us awake and gave us each a trouser and a shirt and a cup of coffee with a slice of breed with some very bad tasting butter on it!
By the door outside was four buckets between the two of us we took each two heavy buckets each and walk after the old lady toward the pig stalls.

This is not out of any movie this is the truth, when we was finish with that we had to go and sit in a small place taking corn of the maze storks.

The next morning as we walked to the pig stalls Herculas looked at me and said that we must make a run for it because this is not a holiday! We battled with the buckets up to the pig stalls and then left it right there!

Took short cut through the maze field to the main road and hitch hike with a old black guy on a Donkey cart to Kleksdorp!

Went to the police station told the guy we run of from the Orphanage and want to go back there! The Jung policemen did not ask many questions and said they will take us there in a minute because they had to take some robbers to the jail in Potch.

When we a rive at the Orphanage the Farther Believe what we told him and just say to us we will never go to any place if it happened again In the mean time one of my ants have called for me and she was asking if we were out already!

The farther phoned her and we were on our way for a real holiday just as soon as the police bring our stuff from the other people!

I was a very good boxer on my age and because I was so good the town club guy took me in as a boxer in his club for free!

Just as I was doing good I had to run from Stilfontein to Potch one day for training not far at all just 7 miles but with the ground so dry a dust cloud came up just half way through the run with a lot of DDT in the sand! At ten that night I landed i8n the hospital with savior DDT poisoning in the longs whit a lot of side defects which landed me for more that 8 months in the hospital! Rheumatism Fever for 8 months and straight after that Rheumatoid arthritis!

My whole body was messed up with this DDT and on top of all this I had a problem with my liver but that came right after lots of praying.

All the time I spent in hospital no teacher ever came to me to update me on school work! In addition they did came and help all the kids who were from other schools and private patients, but me from the orphanage they could not care less!

That’s one thing you can blame directly on the dad because if he did not drink I would be in a better place even not having the problem I was sitting at the time!

That is why I blame all dad’s who drink and don’t look well after their children indirectly he is blamed for anything that go wrong with his kids or wife even if they not together again. Alcoholic problems go much further than just being drunk every day!

Fathers made the children and must be reliable for them, Even if they don’t have money as most of them is saying! Like my dad he got married again did not have any kids with those women but had a good salary every month! To send some to us but instead he rather drinks it out with his new wife!

If my dad kept to his word in Church “until death do us part” and stick with my mother who was not drinking at all I might have being a man today who most properly would had my own kids did not went down the path I went in my life.

I had three operations on my legs before I was 21 another ten before I was thirty all because of DDT poisoning.

Alcohol is to blame for so many problems in this world and if no one who read this can see this and what the course of Alcohol is then they are totally dumb struck already! I had seen so many people kids suffering because of that, hear kids cry every night about their parents some killed them self after a argument! Other was divorced like my mom and dad!

And then the people who looked after us being so mean to us some were ok but most of the time they will say if your dad or mom lived better you would not have being here!

Many times we cry us to sleep in the night and if your eyes are bloodshot in the morning the lady who looked after you “house mother” would say is get your self right you are going to be here for a long time! I pray to God that he must play that part of the children crying over their dads and moms to the over and over just so that they could really see what they did to their children.

Phillippus Phillippus
Dec 10, 2012