Almost The End!

I was so over everything in my life. My marriage was on the rocks. I felt like I had no one that I could talk to. Overly depressed. Nothing was going my way.

I was driving home from work and considered smashing my car into a highway barrier at 120km per hour but no that wouldn't kill me, just hurt me really bad. Kept driving.

I work for a quarry and I thought about driving my car over the edge and again no wouldn't kill me.

Went to work at one of the other quarries that my company owns and caught myself standing on the edge of a 100 foot face. 100 foot straight drop, yeah that would do it.

I inched myself closer and closer to the edge. Looked around, no one is looking, Now is the perfect time.

Then my life past before my eyes. I seen my parents, grandparents, wife and child. My heart stopped. I can't do this. The tears welled in my eyes as I slowly backed away.

I called the doctor that day and he said come and see me right now. I was there that evening, and now I'm here to tell this story.

Rescuediver1874 Rescuediver1874
41-45, M
2 Responses Oct 31, 2013

I totally understand. I live in Niagara Falls. it is amazing how many people go over the falls but that is kept out of the papers. I have even thought of filling my BC and dry suit with air and holding my breath at 120' down but well something always kept me real at just the right time. Still fightin it but now I have two litl'uns to think about and they help a lot.

You live in the Falls and your a diver. How interesting. I know that there are a lot of people that go over the Falls every year. I'm right down the road from you. I live in Hamilton,

i dnt have an answer to your problem but you are the only one who constantly has suicidal thoughts .... i too thought of killing myself by drowning ..... but i was able to get over it by not keepign any contact with people who made me think like that for a while..... completely shunning them has actually made me feel better ... hope you get well soon.......... :-D

Thank you for your comment. Actually since being to the doctor, I do feel much better. Still working through some of my feelings with a councellor but the medication that I am on has really suppressed the thoughts. Thanks for your concern.