I Was Dying

I had been feeling ill for a long time. I was tired all the time and my life turned into an endless cycle of working and sleeping, sleeping and working. Oh and I almost forgot having to get up every 90 minutes to urinate. I became so bloated with water that with me being overweight to begin with, I could barely move. I was falling asleep at work and getting yelled at by my bosses, and at home my kids yelled at me to stop eating, which I was doing alot of. I started to smell. I thought it was because daily hygiene had become so difficult with the size of me. I was depressed and cried in the bathroom because I could barely clean myself after using the toilet. I lost feeling in parts of my feet, first the right and then a month later than the left. Still I did not go to the doctor. I have no health insurance, how could I? My family and my bosses urged me to go to the county hospital where they would treat me for free, but how could I afford to take time off work? I couldn't. Then I got thirsty, really thirsty, so I gulped down anything I could get my hands on, milk, soda, water, it didn't seem to matter. Then I started to vomit after drinking.So even at work my routine became sleep,urinate, drink, vomit. Over and over again. Still I did not go to a doctor. Then I began to loose my sight. Every day it got worse and worse, till I could not drive, I could see shapes and the world I once knew looked very alien to me. This was the last straw, I needed help. I stopped at the nearest ER,and within a half hour the doctor told me I was dying from diabetes. So there I was, stuck in the hospital and feeling like a human pincushion. The funny thing was I wasn’t scared. I should have been and I was feeling very tired, weak, and ill, but I didn’t feel like I was dying. How does it feel to be dying? I was afraid for my husband and two teen children. I knew how upset they would be and maybe I stayed strong for them.

    On the fourth day the doctors felt my sugar had gone down enough for me to go home, although I suspect they would have kept me longer if I was insured. I could tell they felt bad, as if they were kicking me out or something. I assured them I understood and was grateful they saved my life. One of the doctors came in and told me in a lowered voice, as if he was telling me a secret, that I could beat this. A nurse had told me the same thing the evening before. Follow the diet and exercise and you can get off the insulin and beat the disease. On that fourth day I got a crash course on how to inject myself with insulin. I was nervous and scared, but I knew I had no choice. They gave me an hour to practice on an orange, and right before I left the nurse had me give myself a shot. My roommate who was also diabetic cheered me on and the nurses encouraged me and I did it. I was proud. My family couldn’t even watch me do it every day, but they made sure I ate right and followed the other orders of exercise and medication. They watched me very closely, and even now five months later, still watch for signs I might be getting sick again.
kmils kmils
46-50, F
5 Responses Jul 12, 2006

Glad you are better.

That is such a scary thing to go through!

Wow, im so sorry you went all that....But im happy you're better!!!:)

Glad ur better