the person who is ruining my life. when i was 11, as pre-pubescant boys do, my male neighbour same age particpated in mutual ************, which involved him doing it to me, although i didnt do it back, i didnt want to. it turns out hes gay, and 8 years later, hes been teling everyone i did it to him, amongst other things and im really a closet gay, involving me and random people. my friends have started to hear this from completely random sources, and i worry theyre believeing it, and im going to lose the relationships i have, that theyre going to look at me differently like i am gay, but havent come out, that they wont invite me out to clubs and ****, wont hang out with me, because they think im not into girls, when i am, it doesnt help that i dont get too many girls though as it is. i know a lot of this is paranoia, but im in college now, and its really ruining my experience. im scared and paranoid all the time. i dont want to be here anymore, i want to move away and leave everyone start over where  have no problems, i dont have to worry about this, about going to a party and having people say "oh hes that gay guy who did such and such". i dont how my friends will take that. were not prejudiced against gay people, like we have gay friends, but its not me, that not who i am. ive even thought about killing myself, to get away, although i know i wouldnt do it. this thing is depressing me in a major way. the person who is doing this to me, who is ruining my life, i want to kill him, i just want him out of the world, to stop doing this. i coudlnt ask him to stop, he has a huge ego, and that would only make it worse. im 19 and my life seems to have ended.

irlargy irlargy
2 Responses Mar 19, 2009

1. If u did kill him u would get caught because u'd b at the top of the list of people that might try and it would make ur life a lot worse.<br />
2. Understand that what u r going thru is temporary n death is not.<br />
3.U could kick his *** tho.

Sweety have tried the police? Even he is not arrested it will ruin is reputation he could loose job and we be seen as a sicko just because you say something to the police and the have to investagate it. Sometimes ruining someones life can be more enjoyable then killing plus u could get lucky and he might kill himslef which would give u the satisfaction of knowing u made his life so misrable he couldn't handle the thought of life anymore