I'm Terrified... And Just Plain Scared.

Friday, before the football game (I'm playing tuba in the band) my dad was yelling at me about how we can't afford a private school. (even though I qualify for enough scholarships to cover almost everything, and I'm one of the top candidates for a full ride at the school I got accepted into)

He made it clear that he thinks I cannot live on my own, will never study by my own free will, and will never make it at college. When I got accepted into Lyon, he never said congratulations or even smiled... he just got mad and started yelling and breaking stuff.

I was ready to hurt myself... horribly. Jake, a friend of mine and fellow Brass player (he, too, plays tuba) and I were tuning the instruments, and we were about to tighten all the screws in our tubas and such with a pair of wire cutters. I was working, thinking it'd take my mind off of what dad said. Jake knows how bad he was, but not how bad he affected me. I came so close to just slicing my wrist open with the wire cutters. When i got them I just stared t them for a long time... he came to see what was taking me so long. He jerked them out of my hands and I just collapsed and started crying.

Mom's looking for me a therapist, and several of my friends have assured me that if at any time dad gets worse, I can come stay with them for a while. I'm terrified that when mum goes on her business trip this week, dad might turn violent...
Hiroitt Hiroitt
18-21
Sep 16, 2012