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Never Ending

Being different is special thats what everyone says but there is always price to pay.
What so different about?
We are humans anyway, just having different point if view in looking.
Ah yea, I do in fact having more moral than most people, largely emotional but ain't an emo crying over.

Not even know me so well, they insults and bullies me. I grew up being loveless. My whole life, no one praise me, no one look at me but just blames and curses upon me and yea even my family. Plus, I don't take pity from others , not trying to be bad but I just don't want to be a burden!

I am not blaming my parents for not understanding how to be a parent. Though, treating me as a product, I am speechless.
Why am I so useless? I understand that I don't meet their expectation and all. Giving me so many chance but I still can't do right!!! I am really sorry for not being perfect! Seriously! Why am I being born if I make everyone so miserable!

Everyone I meet, they hate my every being, be it nurture or nature.
Lol tell me somebody, where do I belong? I think I going to be insane.
I wish to die but I can't, I dun want to die being useless and alone.

BlackKirin BlackKirin 22-25 2 Responses Jan 22, 2013

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Sorry I understand the feeling, but I have no answer for you
have felt like that most of my lives except age 10 ages 19 when I had a best friend who became my wife at 13 and I was taught by her mothers and grand parents many things but she was killed at age 19.

Thanks for sharing and I'm sorry too. I guess there isn't any answer from fate but reason to why does it happen. Answer will come if we look deep into it.... though even after knowing, what to do in the end? It's an endless cycle....
The past will always be part of us to the future.
I know i dun have the right to say this but I still need to, Even if we are weak in some place, lets us be strong.

hi... i completely get what you are saying been there...and i am still working through the process and this is what i can advise u

1. understand that you cant please everyone
2. understand that not everyone will like you.

life is hard and we all want to be loved and sought of fit in. i had been trying for so long to meet a requirement that would please different people (friends, some relatives, random people etc) but the person i had to become was not making me happy....with family, if i wasnt gossiping or saying something ughly about some relative i wasnt good enough to them it showed pride....with friends if i wasnt partying and hunging with a bunch of guys then i wasnt normal, with other being single means there is a problem with me...at church, if i wasnt attending all their meetings and acting a certain way then something was wrong....

well to hell with that now!!!

i have decided that
1. i am going to ignore all these people...i simply nod when the are talking and the think am listening
2. am focussed now on my life (the now and future). unfortunately i still live at home (not that i have a bad mom, she is ok, i also have to ok sisters) but i plan to move out. i plan to go for my masters
3. i just refuse to be miserable cause of people with their own issues.
4. at work though i feel disrespected or overlooked sometimes. i try to put in effort in saying hi to my collegues....

look we cant change peoples actions or attitudes but we can choose how we react to them....nothing is permanent so work towards having a better future...get an education advance your degree or anything so that when an opportunity comes along and the always do you will be able to sieze the moment.

i have shut out alot of people and friends cause it seemed like a constant burden....am still working on keeping my feelings in check, having a positive attitude and working hard and looking for opportunities...I AM THE ONLY GUARANTEE TO MY SUCCESSFUL FUTURE...no one will dictate what i become or achieve, MY FURTURE IS MY OWN...YOUR FUTURE IS YOUR OWN...os take control now

Omg that's what I thought so too!! Seriously it's kind of ******* when people like us already did their best but still get knocked over.
I think I snapped today....
Not being yourself everyday is tough... but yes u'er right.
Thank you so much *hugs*

Actually Ur answer is exactly similar with mine. Just that, I'm tired for having the same problem occurs.