Post

Outside In

I know beauty comes from within.  I know that on the outside we are all just flesh and bones arranged in different ways.  I know that there is beauty in everything. 

Except me.

I know I am a great person.  I have lots of good things to offer people.  Then why can't I look in a mirror without seeing hideous.  My years of abuse just keep on keeping me down.  He made sure I felt less.  So I am less.  He made sure that I knew I was nothing so I am nothing. 

I am now in a relationship with a man who loves me.  He say's I am his everything. 

Why then does it matter so much how I feel on the outside. 

I just want to be someone's beauty.  I just want to feel beautiful to someone. 

Even me.
flodials flodials 41-45, F 2 Responses May 15, 2012

Your Response

Cancel

Thanks Jack. I know your words are sincere also. I think part of my issue is the amount of time I spent being made to feel worthless. You don't know me well other than what I write. I have always been outgoing and confident the life of the party. Not afraid to meet new people and never cared with others opinion. I lived with his comments and degredation that I feel like I missed the best years of my physical life. I have aged and now have the effects of the stress in my life that dosen't seem to ever stop. I find it hard to look at who I was and see what I have become without seeing the ugly in it. I will never get that back. I missed it ......It's marred with pain.

So I see my pain in my reflection. I see the scars of my pain in the sadness of my face. I try to smile when I see me........just dosen't come naturally anymore.

All I can comment on is what I know of your heart and mind. Of course that is where the true beauty lies, but unfortunately you can't see it in a mirror. I have no doubt that you are physically beautiful, especially to the man that loves you. If only you could see yourself through his eyes instead of your own. What I see, is a person with great courage, compassion, and love offering it freely to those she perceives as needing it! I know of nothing more beautiful or holy than that! You should know we are always hardest on ourselves. When the world slaps us once we slap ourselves five times to make sure we got the message. Unfortunately we forget to praise ourselves five times as much as the world praises us. So hear this; You are a beautiful person! You are a beautiful person! You are a beautiful person! You are a beautiful person! You are a beautiful person! You are a beautiful person! You are a beautiful person! You are a beautiful person! You are a beautiful person! You are a beautiful person! You are a beautiful person! You are a beautiful person! You are a beautiful person! You are a beautiful person! You are a beautiful person! I am proud you are my friend! Jack