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First Contact Of The Bothered Kind

"Call me," something that we hear very often and probably have said just as many times however that is the one thing I can't do no matter the person. There seems to be a very fine line between what I feel is bothering people or what isn't. I feel that when I'm in a social setting with people, the bother factor just isn't quite there. Sure there are scenarios where I don't approach someone at a social even because they seem to be preoccupied, but generally I'm pretty down to earth. I don't ask too many questions, I'm not the air-head of the group and people typically enjoy my company and no matter how many times these people keep trying to force the whole 'call me' line.

If the person calls me first or even texts me first then I don't have any problems chatting or texting back, but starting the whole chit chat I can not do. For whatever the reason I seem to think that people are busy, or that maybe my reason for calling my not be legit enough. Now this is only the case when things are not planned, like when the individual just throws out the 'call me anytime' I feel like calling 'anytime' may just not be the right time to call. Say there was a event going on- I'm all peachy keen to call and finalize the plans but other than that- nothing.

It never use to be this way; at one point, when I was much younger, I was glued to the phone. I would call up anyone and everyone in my phone book just for the sake of saying 'hi' or 'miss ya' but now it just doesn't seem appropriate to call people just to talk their ear off. Maybe it's because 25 is just around the corner, all my friends are over that age range therefore I guess my understanding is that people have their own adult lives now and doing the whole constant phone/text chatter was a teenage thing.

Another instance happens to be non phone related- In my apartment building the walls and 100 year old floors makes the living conditions like living in a Japanese paper house. My landlord gave me a ring last Friday at 8:00pm letting me know that the 4 people that I had visiting was bothering the tenants in the apartment upstairs. He told me that it would be wise for me to knock on his door to talk to him about the issue but for the life of me I just couldn't without feeling like I was being a further bother. First of all I don't understand why I should be the one responsible to talk to the neighbors first when they didn't even have the courtesy to come and talk to me first before jumping to the landlord. I am a reasonable person therefor I would understand but considering it was 8 o'clock on a Friday night, I thought I did nothing in the wrong. But this scenario plays out in many ways- even when they were noisy and I had to be up in the morning, I have never once knocked on their door to complain- I understand that we are humans and that sometimes there may be a little bit of noise (especially with a 100 year old Victorian home). Anyways, I went out of my way to not walk on the floor as much as possible, wear headphones when watching a movie or listing to music and in the two years that I have been living there I have hardly had any visitors. Now all of a sudden I shape out to be the worst person living in that house. I call bullshit!

Apartment ranting aside- Unless approached first, I don't bother.

Linxer Linxer 26-30, F 4 Responses Mar 31, 2010

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That is a good point about being on the phone everyday from 9-5. It does leave very little room for feeling like calling folks.

A lot of time we fear to bother people, but we are not. They are as open to us than we are to them. We have to let our fear aside and tried to connect.

Also, When your job is to be on the phone all the time, it is understandable not to feel like calling someboddy. We are tired of doing it on a 9 to 5 basis.

I am sure you will arrange things so that you will become more at ease with others.

Your friend, Sjachaurix

Well said! I am to the point where I may surrender my beautiful apartment and find myself moving into an apartment building- they are built for sound proof purposes. This way I can be me and not in constant fear or anger.

They need to CHILLLLLLLLLL.......urge.....do your thing. From time-to-time things happen. People should grow up and deal with it. An offense or concern should only be if it is long-term. My god...I am so pissed!!!