I Am Always Off Kilter.

I am always just a little off kilter to what is going on around me. I tend to drift and fade out of what's going on because I become so engrossed in what I'm doing.  I've always been like that. Now here on EP lately I feel the same way. I feel like I'm out of touch with people I've come to know and care about and I don't know how or why it happened. Perhaps I became a bit to engrossed in other things or maybe I'm just in a rut. Maybe. I don't know. I just feel alone here lately.

I can't even seem to find words to give or help to those who might need it. I feel like I'm drowning in my own mind. Floundering for a way to let everything out and I'm too afraid to speak up, because someone will tell me I'm being stupid or silly. Of all things in this world ... I am afraid most of ridicule for how I think and feel.

theredlady theredlady
41-45, F
19 Responses Mar 12, 2010

Aww Thank you Paco! I appreciate that very much. :)

I read your story. Please do not discount your feelings or thoughts. I don't know you, but I know you need to at least validate yourself as a special person. <br />

Yeah, it seems to be something everyone I know is feeling lately. I wonder if it has anything to do with the change in seasons. hmmmm What do you think?

No, but I feel the same sense of....well, everything you wrote. Of losing touch, of drowning in my own thoughts, of being afraid to speak, everything. I can totally relate :/

I hope you don't feel this way about me Empty dear.... you are my friend forever.....

You are not alone in this, TRL.

Aww FB!. You're too sweet! I love you too!

I love you too Aly... keep on looking girl... I'm right in front of you.

yes you do De... you are a wonderful lady and a good friend.

yep.. again I agree with Ersatz.... he's always been on the naughty side....

Ahh De. I know. I get caught up in stuff sometimes and get soo stuck in the mire. It's my nature. I think waaay too much sometimes.....

Ahh well should I bow the other direction then?..... Um no... wait...... that.....no. Nevermind...

*Bows to the wisdom of Ersatz*

LOLOLOL ! ! Not yet! LOL

Heheh I'm a worry wart Ersatz. I need to get over myself. I am thinking you're right...

ROFL, Ersatz!..... turtle..... heheheheh<br />
De... I know that.... sometimes I just feel....like I don't matter. I have seen lately that I can't .....relate to some of my friends and I get lost and left behind. Maybe it's my fault, I don't know. Maybe it's just the time of year playing with my head.

Hmmm and apparently have a shell. Have you seen it? LOL it's got a few holes in it now.

LOLOL! I usually do but this site tends to bring it out. I don't know why. The anonymity of it all, I guess.

Thank you Ersatz. You are a good man and a good friend. I'm a work in progress and I guess this is just one weakness I'm still working on.