You need to explain yourself better sweety there is no context to your story it feels like you hesitated then thought the better of writing down your thoughts.By the way find a purpose in life that makes a difference in others and your soul will be healed.Depression is only there because you have no self worth .Believe me you do you just need to wake up every morning and put a smile on your face and tell yourself you have a purpose in life that you will make people happy