They Let Me Know I Was Less Then Them

with snide remarks or flippant banter

there was never one occasion were there was a serious conversation held ... or if it was it was all about them...

I was forced to sit in a cancer ward for hours while mary died and I just wonder would louise do that for me if I had cancer?

the 6itch would probably turn the machine off on me and sh!t in my mouth.

the actions and the manner of personality they delivered in my company was always "you are a low life and we are better than you"

it came across in their gestures and face, my sisters first husband did the same thing... they let us know they were better than us..

it just seems as the years have gone on the worse they have become.

the dirty put downs, the insults and smerking .... and the arrogance. 

the way my brother and his wife act... that is why my mother don't want them coming here anymore.

she made that clear ages ago ... that they always make out we live in squaller and pigs sh!t ... they make out the carpets are not clean enough

the cats are in the way,   we are all dirty and everything here is full of germs

so we don't have them here at all now.   they have not been here in over 8 years, apart from a fly in and out visit down stairs when my grandfather died.

Joyce was always saying our house was a squaller when I was seeing her... and that was back when it was a lot newer and cleaner but she was always saying "oh I am glad John got out..." as if it was a pig sty back then and it wasn't... it is now however....

I have a room full of clothes I will never wear .... and I will be forced to give them away or sell on ebay for money for the cats

I don't have the energy anymore to keep the place clean the way I used to .... nor the garden... its just too draining on me.
czaristacrystals czaristacrystals
36-40, F
May 23, 2012