The Feeling Of Ugliness: I've Wasted My Life. So This Is My Decision.

Before I begin, I would like to let you know that I am a confident person, my mentality is fine and my issue is beyond the need for people to tell me i am beautiful....

My pseudo here is inside wants out...I absolutely hate the way I look, I have for a very long time. I don't know where to start, honestly, I have way to many things on my mind and it is rather difficult to elaborate on them. I guess my overall story would be a girl who has always had extra weight, along with that I suffer with a very large, flat and wide nose that truly embarrasses me. I've always been the ugly one...I hate being with other girls because I am always the one left to be ignored. I know there are things I can change to relieve the issue, and I know for a fact that I will be happier with myself.  This is my first post, and I guess I am here because I will soon embark on a journey. A journey that I know many have considered but few have actually went through with. I plan to lose 35 pounds, receive a rhinoplasty (nose job), breast lift, liposuction and fix my teeth. I know this may sound like too much and that perhaps I may not be satisfied and maybe it is all in my head, but you know what...If i never try, i wont know. I have spent my entire life at home, I have missed so many things in my life simply because I hated  my look. I walk with my head down, I feel awful...I've never even had a boyfriend due to my unhappiness. Do you, or do you not agree with my decision? I am old enough to do it, I feel that this is the change a person like me needs. Can you imagine not wanting to go out because you hate your face? Can you imagine not wanting to go any where because you feel so over-weight and uncomfortable in your clothes? 

.

InsidewantsOUT InsidewantsOUT
18-21, F
1 Response Feb 21, 2010

I WAS called Frankenstein all through school and was shot with bear guns in high school.But i was well built .Later on the girls were jealous of me but it was not until i gave up on high school i found out beauty is in the eye of the beholder