Why Am I So Quiet?

im usually a reasonably quiet guy, but at times i get asked why im so quiet, as in "more quiet" than usual!!! but i dont understand!!! i dont notice it myself, but i sometimes do have these tendancies to go back even further into my shell than normal!!! and as i say "i dont understand"!! i get people asking me if im ok, and if theres something wrong, and i just dont have an answer for them!!! it even happened again today!! a girl in work asked if i was ok, and if there was something wrong, cos i was more quiet than usual but there was nothing wrong with me!!

cowshed123 cowshed123
36-40, M
21 Responses Jul 8, 2009

But yesterday a very close friend told me that i talk about 5 to 10 minutes than i remain quiet for the rest of time. I myself feel that even if someone is talking to me im just in my own head probably thinking nothing.
Is there any thing wrong with me help...

I get what you're feeling. One time my friends were over my house, and one of them randomly asked me: "Did your parents like, teach you to be quiet, or something?" I really didn't know what to say to her. I just replied: "No, why?" I forget what she said afterwards, but seriously, I'm so sensitive about being asked that or even just being called shy, or quiet. I was almost going to CRY once I heard her say that. It makes me feel even more quiet and shy when I'm asked that. It's like that when I'm asked that its holding me back in my life, ya know?

i understand how you feel "Loner547", i have experienced that all my life. everyone told me that one day i would grow out of it when i got older, but here i am 34 yrs of age, and nothing has changed!!

I stumbled upon this thread because I find myself asking the same thing. I am a very quiet guy, usually keep to myself and focus on my own things. Sometimes being quiet is good, sometimes it's bad. When I was in school I was asked that all the time, especially from my teachers. It makes me feel as if something is wrong with myself. I don't like being quiet...it's a struggle to voluntarily strike up a conversation with people (and this could be anyone, like my friends, family or even a stranger). I want to have more friends, be more outgoing and more aggressive when I speak. Unfortunately my mind and my body don't want to cooperate with each other. To make an example, I may really want to say something to that cute girl that sits by me in class...but my body (or my mouth in other words) won't speak it. Not all the time my mouth won't speak when it wants to, sometimes it's the rest of my body. To make another short example, my mind wants to go out for a bike ride, but my body doesn't want to get up to get on that bike.

There is one large exception to all this though...when I am obliged by a higher power, or even my own conscience at times to do or say something, my mind and body will cooperate to speak the words that my mind wants or needs to speak, or perform the actions my body wants or needs to perform.

I understand you completely. I am totally fine most times, but to recap, I hate being quiet. It's quite a struggle.

i get what your saying. years ago when i was in school, i often got asked by teachers if my family life was ok, and if everything was ok at home, but everything was ok in that department. ive just always been really quiet and probably always will be, no matter how much i hate it at times. for the most part, i like my life the way it is, like when i get home from work every night, and i just lock myself away from the world, everything seems fine, but then sometimes it does feel kinda lonely, but, like yourself, i have trouble making friends and talking to girls!!

It's just your natural state. They just don't realize it.

thats right!!

Keeping quiet keeps me from talking too much especially around the wrong people.. What I mean is..some people would love nothing more than to be all in your business. This gives them somthing to go and talk about you behind your back. Im very talkative and can hold excellent conversations when im around those have pleasant thing to talk about, But I ( as well as others) get tired fo those gossipers who dont have anything else to do but do the following:
1- Talk about themselves (Like they are all That)
2- Allways thinks they are better than everyone else (REALLY)
3- Those who Really think their Tough, and all their conversations ending up like this " i told that B*%&$H or MotherF%$#@*R Off!
4- Facebook Gossipers! The world will know your Business.....
In Other words.. Only these type of people complains about my quietness, but if you think about it..."CAN YOU BLAME ME!"

yes i know *kwoody*lol!! thanks for commenting on my story!!

its just annoying when people say stuff like that, cos i mean, i was always the kind of guy that if you asked me something or talked to me, i would talk back!! but as i say, i have never been the kind of person that can just strike up a conversation with people, cos i just never know where to start with the conversation!!

people ask me that too! when i was little people used to say they couldnt get to know me cause i was so quiet. i didn't know there was anything unusual. i tried to overcompensate by talking more. haha, oh well.

well, i have never had a girlfriend lol, cos i just dont know what to say when im in a woman's company, i just freeze!! but when im in the company of a woman who is already spoken for, has a boyfriend or husband lol, i can talk to them about anything lol, cos there is almost like no pressure!! lol!! i too need to have a drink in me to be able to talk to women, but im not good with drink, so i just tend to not drink and stay at home!!! lol

Wow am I glad I'm not the only quiet person around! My girl friend is always saying I don t speak especially around her family,trouble is I'm really aware of it then it's Just at blank!!!! I have the same trouble around women too, luckily I have a little lady at the mo cause I seriously doubt I could get another without drinking all the time

oh please... they just don't understand what being quiet means, it's annoying to be asked that kind of thing!

yes!!! very much so!!! (((hugs))) hehe

yes, i agree lol!!! thats why i started this group, cos it sometimes gets to me, that i cant just be my usual quiet self sometimes, without people thinking there is something wrong!!!

yeehh im get tht, you never kno what to say to people, im just a really quiet natured person! but as sooon as you get to know me im not always qiuet i can be loud and quick witted but usually im quiet. and theres nothing wrong with that is there??? i get people asking me if theres anything wrong, but there isnt!!!!!

i know what you mean!! especially for me, when it comes to women, i just dont know what to say!! i mean, im not so bad around guys, cos we can talk about man stuff like women and football and all that sort of thing, but its mainly around women, i just dont know what to say!!! im not very good when it comes to small talk!!! and my mind is the same as yours, it just goes blank!!!<br />
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yes we are twins!! "two pea's in a pod" lol lol

lol i dont get it either "shine"!!! i dont like it when people ask that lol, cos i always think im nt understood as a person!!! <br />
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as for writing about you lol, i cant help it were both nice beautiful, interesting, inteligent and charesmatic people lol!! and we have sexy teeth too!! lol lol lol

i get that as well!!! but gradually as i get to know people, they understand that im not in a bad mood or upset, im just quiet by nature,just like you "urbrandofheroin"

People always assume I am quiet because I am mad at them or unhappy being with them wherever we are. I am just a quiet natured person!

you see, now thats why i always think that i get more quiet!!! im more focused on my work, but its just that when people ask me this, i always just think to myself "do i look as though theres something wrong with me today?" just cos i like to get on with my work, rather than stand about talking to my workmates!!

The same thing happens to me because I'm generally quiet by nature. Usually if someone at work asks me about why I'm "more quiet", it's because I'm focused on work, not anything wrong.

We are all different and communicate differently. Myself I say whats in my head and It sometimes works and sometimes dont.<br />
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I use a lot of humour but that does imply a little sillyness if not used properly.. You can be a bully and take over a conversation but I don't advice that.<br />
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The only way you can get the idea that there is something wrong out of their heads is open up a bit and if you get shot down just get up again.<br />
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I use insults at partys that always makes them laugh and gets me in the conversation.