Little Secret Crushes Delight

I have many little crushes throughout daily life. I am not alone in this. Others do also. We see qualities in other people that trigger more than intellectual curiosity or aesthetic impression That certain smile, that lingering eye contact, that little flip of hair, a certain shape, an outfit or jewelry that seems to speak to me. A person I see everyday, once a week, or every once in a while that trigger a little leap in my heart that the person standing next to her does not.

Women who look right through me without ever noticing me never become crushes of mine. There has to be some human connection or acknowledgement, even if the crush part is solely in my head and my heart.

I wouldn’t put anyone I haven’t seen or spoken with in more than 6 months in the category of “secret crushes.” Occasional thoughts of an old girlfriend or intriguing acquaintance that never developed into a romantic relationship fall more into the category of nostalgia.

Recently, I decided that I was going to gently tell everyone of my secret crushes that they are my secret crushes, and remove the “secret” part. I set a date by which I would have told them all. Of course I would make no further mention of it, unless explicitly encouraged to do so. I also was not going to disclose a little secret crush in any situation in which it would be considered unequivocally inappropriate: co-worker half my age, business client, married person who is part of a formal organization with me, or other situations of that sort are all off-limits. Those particular secret crushes would either have to pass or remain secret.

So what did I do? In short, I chickened out. Before deciding to tell them all, I have recently told one or two without being offensive, and the crush is gone. Of course it would be unlikely for something like this to be a mutual secret crush. As soon as I realize that the little crush is entirely one-sided, and she sees me as just the ordinary person standing next to her secret crush, it is over. Her same qualities are all still there, but the bubble has burst, and that little leap in my heart is gone once the crush is disclosed. I have noticed that because I am polite and discreet about it, my disclosure is usually forgotten by the next time I see my former crush.

I think I would rather keep my secret crushes than lose them. It makes the day so much nicer to have those crushes.
WildeOscar WildeOscar 51-55, M 14 Responses Jan 8, 2011

Your Response


good idea!

Awwh that's so cute I have never though of it that way that's a wise thanks :)

is true what you say at the end if you tell your little secret what is left of it is not longer fun

They vanish like a mist in face of the rising sun. It is fun to think of disclosing them, but the thought is almost better than the act of doing so.

A single innocent crush can bring months or years of pleasure, harmess and enlivening. Gw, I am becoming convinced.

Q, I am definitely not THE David. I may be A David, but really probably more of a Dave.

Oh David. You're so cute, tongue-biting and all.<br />
I'm all for simple pleasures. <br />
Life is short.

If I should feel a crush on you then, I would bite my tongue until it bleeds. These connections are among the best of the simple pleasures of life. No humans are harmed in the filming of these documentaries.

I do this all the time, but I don't usually consider telling. <br />
I like the fantasy too much.<br />
I also never refer to it as a crush. I always use the word "connection", I guess because it is more benign, and there have been cases of the connection being recognized, mutually. <br />
I also never considered acting on any of these connections, the ones in my daily life, but as I get older, I find I am way less shy.<br />
Reality can be the death knell, definitely.

Very powerful observations, Quercus. Our fantasy lives seem to separate us all, but maybe not quite all, other animals. Humans are the only animal that can envision ourselves faster, stronger, leaner and then condition our bodies to become what we envision. We also project the most wonderful characteristics onto people in our fantasies, only they mostly aren't true, and we can't make them true. Reality has spoiled many a wonderful fantasy, hasn't it?

EH, that it may be mutual is definitely part of the enjoyment. I had one such crush I never disclosed to anyone, and I learned later, after she moved far away, that it had been mutual. Now nostalgia, but one of those 'might have been' situations.

Hmmm, now this is an interesting one. It might be that the feeling is one-sided WO, but have you ever thought that it might also be that it can go nowhere? I've had a lot of those little crushes. Dayem, they felt like full blown love, and I still think they might have been had it been possible to find out. But if someone told me they had a crush on me, and did not intend or it could not go anywhere... well, I'd just feel all hot and frustrated LOL (talking RL here... happens online sometimes). I dont know, I suspect you're selling it short thinking it's one sided. Maybe they actually want to jump you... and cant LOL

We do sometimes tell our closest friends about our secret little crushes. Women may be more inclined to share secrets like this with their girlfriends than guys are with our guy friends, but we still have those crushes all the same.

We are only human..and those little crushes are wonderful!! The ones I have had those little crushes will never know..<br />
Sunshine...I am sure you are very right some might like to hear

GmcG and 1ul, then, with your encouragement, I am just going to enjoy these secrets. Having many secret crushes is one of the best things in life, and it is totally free and mostly innocent. Why mess with something so good?