I Wasnt Ready For That..

So, I lost my grandmother a couple years ago during the start of my freshman year. And it still hurts.. a lot. I still can't believe it. I wish she was still here. She was my "stone", the one person to always be there for me. She didn't speak english very well. But still, I would talk to her and she would smile at me and hug me and kiss me, told me she loved me. She used to say, "oh, sesssoh!" And smile. My grandma, gah. I don't even know.. I used to love coming home from school just to see her. She raised me, when my mom would be away, she was my second(always first) mommy. She taught me right from wrong, what love and hate were.

She started to get sick constantly in and out of the hospital... and I didn't know what to do, I was so scared. I wasn't ready to lose her. I never was. I would miss school just to go with my mom to vifit her. I wanted to be there for her every step of the way. was ready to leave. I wanted to be able to say bye to her.

I never got to.
The one time my mom wanted me to stay and go to school, my grandma decided it was time for her to "leave".
My mom always telss me maybe she decided to do it until I wasn't there, because she never waned to see me cry.

I just, I don't know. I want her back.. so much.
I was never ready to lose her.
No one is ever ready.

MaybItsChelsea MaybItsChelsea
18-21, F
Sep 24, 2012