I Thought It Was Going To Be A Life Time Of Love

When I found out i was pregnant i was so happy. All I could do was smile, It was unfortinuate that my baby father was not ready and after contaplanting my options, I began to sink, realizing that neither of us was ready broke my heart and all i could do is cry. I was always the one to say I will never have an abortion that i climbed in bed i knew what i was doing but in reality i had no idea like i knew i was making a child but i didnt know that i was not ready, so after talking to 2 people who said they had; had an abortion i said no way next i know im at a clinic not knowing what to do at this point i was 10 weeks and the lady had told me to wait till after 12 weeks to have an abortion because i could have a miscarriage, and i knew no different so i said okay but on the other hand my boyfriend did not feel right so we called another clinic and they said that if we are going to have an abortion we should do it right away because the baby at 13 weeks can respond to touch, and that right there i knew it was now or i am keeping the baby, i love children, i teach early childhood education at boces and work with troubled adolescents, i had my niece from when i was 13 till 15 and cps came in and took her away from me so after taking care of other children i had no idea how i can give up my own child, i wish i wouldnt have i would do anything to get him/her back but am not planing on getting pregnant if ever again, i will never forget that i was pregnant i had so much love but i felt that i could not be selfish and i had to do what was right and fair for the baby. Will all of this ever pass will i ever be okay? Is it wrong for me to have children in the future?
Fiestyy Fiestyy
18-21
10 Responses Nov 5, 2010

I think that if you love children the way you say to not have children in future would be a greater mistake because you would make a great mother. I am totally against abortion but I love God and I know that he forgives us for all the wrong that we do and he heals our brokenness. Ask him to forgive you and he will.

it was woman's care on main.<br />
I am not how i was raised alot of people ask me why i am so different from my family and i reply with i have no idea because in reality i don't.<br />
The people didnt really talk to me about it just a little prep talk but all i did was cry

It has been exactly 4 weeks from today and I still cry all of the time anytime some one talks about death or killing someone i start crying, i feel as if i have done the most horrible thing ever, but in reality sweetie we have done the best thing for the baby, for some reason we both have came to the conclusion that abortion was the answer, i cried when i showed up to the clinic in the waiting room and even on the table, i have been through a lot but this was by far the hardest thing i have ever done. its emotionally draining and no one around me understands because they don't know i was pregnant or had an abortion, and the very few i did tell i lied to and told them i miscarried, but if you would like to talk more you may fill me in and i might be able to help.

i had an abortion just a week ago and am now starting to regret it and feeling terribly guilty. im sobbing all the time and just dont know what to do anymore. having an abortion was the most awful thing i have ever put myself through. i really hope you reply to my comment as i really do need to talk to someone in the same boat. thank you so much for your story x

Some days are better then others, and such as the parents both of mine don't talk to me, my father i meant 2 years ago and he is dying and my moms is not in the right mind fr<x>ame to raise her children thus is why i thought about abortion because i have been in the system all of my life, and did not want a innocent person to go though what i have, and i will talk to him about creating a name also, and see what he says but thanks for the advice

You're right. It's hard not feeling guilty about an abortion. Heck, I feel guilty myself too about choosing abortion. But I think moving on is better that dwelling about it. It's better for your sanity to be specific. I know you can't avoid the feeling of guilt, but think about it, if you didn't go through with it, you would be having a hard time in high school. And from what you said, looks like your parents are counting on you to graduate high school. Also, think about the kid if you didn't go through with it. Both of you would have a hard time.<br />
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About your boyfriend, let him understand that this isn't like facebook that you socialize and meet new people. It's a place for you to vent out feelings, feelings that you need an opinion from other people as well. If I were you, I'd ask him to create an account for himself so he could see your point. If you haven't told him about what you've been feeling about the abortion, now is the time best time for you to do it so he'd understand what your going through. Soon-to-be-mothers are usually the victims of emotional stress after an abortion. You should let him know that.<br />
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I wouldn't let him stop you from talking about your feelings.

I do want children in the future, Just don't know if i can not feel guilty, every where I go i have children around me, and i feel ashamed that I chose abortion, but i feel like that was the only decision at the time we are both still in high school I will be eight-teen in a week from Monday, and the first in my family to graduate from high school. I am not sure if me and my boyfriend are going to stay together, I honestly love him but have some sorta weird feeling for him now. He found out i was on this website and flipped, thought i was on it to meet guys not understanding that i only use it to talk about the abortion because emotionally and mentally i am so lost, He does not understand.

Hi there. I think you could still have a child in the future without feeling guilty about abortion. Having kids is great. I admit that I would like to have the child of the guy I love in the future, but I'm afraid as well because I had an abortion myself. We both weren't ready for a child because we were both young, physically, emotionally and economically not ready to raise a child on our own. I couldn't let my child to be to grow up while we weren't ready for him/her. <br />
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I think what you did was, in a way, good because you admitted that you and your boyfriend weren't ready. It wouldn't be fair for the child if you guys weren't ready. Remember that you're not alone with the things you're going through. <br />
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And whenever you both are ready for a child, you should go for it without regret. It's not wrong for you to have kids in the future. <br />
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Keep me posted with your decision. I'd like to know what you would want for your future =)