Wishing For A Second Chance......

Hey everyone. I am 19 years old and a sophomore in college. This spring, my boyfriend and I decided that we were going to stop all forms of birth control. He told me that he loved me and I believed him. I have always wanted a baby. In April, we found out that I was pregnant. I was so shocked and happy. My boyfriend had a stone cold look on his face. A detail you need to know about me is that I have a bone marrow condition called Aplastic Anemia. It is basically where your bone marrow doesnt produce enough cells. This was obviously a major concern however, doctors told me I would be ok with maybe a blood tranfusion after labor. Well, my parents were very dissapointed and wanted me to have an aboriton for my health. My boyfriend claimed to be thinking about my health but he also complained he didnt want to spend the money it would take to raise our baby. I felt like I had no choice. My boyfriend didnt want our baby that he had previously stated he wanted. My parents were telling me all the time how bad it would be for me to have the baby. I didnt have the strength to stand up for myself and my baby and that is my biggest regret. I had the abortion a few months ago and I am still depressed and I struggle everyday. My boyfriend left me a couple weeks after the abortion for his ex girlfriend. I am planning on getting a tattoo soon to remember my precious baby. I miss my baby and I want to have the chance to do it all over again. My ex is off doing what he wants and everyday I am sad and hurt and I cry over the loss of OUR child. I feel so alone and I feel that God will not bless me with a good man and beautiful children in the future. I dont know what to do anymore...
countrygirl1299 countrygirl1299
18-21
1 Response Sep 11, 2012