It's been about 17 years since having my abortion. I am 36 (almost 37) now and have 3 children. I always thought that it would get easier to deal with, but it only has gotten worse for me. I constantly think about the baby I should have had first. It's a nightmare that I wish I could take back. I was always against abortion and it was never a second thought that I would keep that baby.....until I told my mother that I was pregnant. I was 19 at the time and she hated my then boyfriend. She made me feel like I had no other choice. I guess I was an immature 19 year old that had to do what her mother told her! UGH!!
My husband and I have 3 kids (11, 7, & 1), and each time I want to have a baby, I feel like I'm trying to replace the one I aborted. I am now a labor and delivery nurse and could not respect women more that come in and have a baby and do not have the ideal life to give their child, but are going to try the best they can. I only wish that I were that strong 17 years ago.
I guess I can only pray for forgiveness and live on for my other children. I honestly just wish that was never even a choice!
LathemA LathemA
36-40, F
1 Response Mar 2, 2016

What a sweet and thoughtful lady. I have been counseling women and men on here who have been sexually abused as a child. I am not a professional counselor, but have been a Christian mentor and adviser to addicts coming out of prison. We have so many who were abused as children. I know as a Christian and the bible confirms it, if you ask for forgiveness and repent which you certainly have, God not only forgives but also actually forgets the sin. You sound like an amazing woman who has a huge heart. My wife also has a identical background. We have discussed, prayed and she will never forget, but has forgiven herself. God Bless. Mike

Thank you for your kind words!