Auto Pilot

I have always said "I'm fine". I learned that from my mother. She taught me it was better to say it then deal with the consequences.
When ever I answered her honestly she made me pay for it. I would get slapped in the face or she would beat me, take away food from me for weeks, and until I was old enough to fight back she would lock me in the upstairs. When I got older she knew not to push me, but by then I knew not to bother saying anything. Now whenever I am hurting I say " I'm fine or I'll be fine . Don't worry about me."
Anyone who knows me knows that well. I guess I say this now because it's ingrained in me but also because I learned the hard way
no one really cares how you feel .
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26-30
May 13, 2012