Thats It !!! Im Tired Of My Negative Thoughts

i think alot and some of it leads me to negative thinking about any type of subjects making me feel depressed, tensed , worried, anxious and warry of others and everything . even the ones that are not around me that i think about. blood and guts and what ever

my views of the future is so negative and im so sensitive from other people which affects me causing self hate and getting pissed blaming myself for saying or doing something stupid which is not stupid, im just curious or i just wanna help u know.

today while lying down in bed i imagined ugly dark black goo of negativity getting out of my heart, like hate , annoyence, tense and whatever worry or hate towards anybody, anything or any subject is gone and removed

all was stayed and adding new ones as replacements was my positive thinking, love, peace, inner calm and cute beautiful things to imagine and think about.
i will remove jealousy and wishful thinking of having something that i don't

i am happy as the way i am , lol i'll try

i don't wanna watch movies cause it always stereotype everything , like i like watching action movies or any movie but it stereotypes a race and culture and sometimes , well always , hidden propaganda using fear and whatever

insult this make fun of that , do this or do that or ur not one of us

i wanna be myself, leave me alone ............... if im not capable of doing those things that they want i always look down at the floor for failure .....

but i wanna look up at their eyes and act like a 3 year old without a care lol ( 3 year old don't get adults and walk away if distracted with something lol )

" huh ? so what ? " got distracted by a butterfly and follows it lol

all commercial and shows are depresseing with drama , i want comedy lol

im gonna smile and sing japanese songs lol ( if i find one since it has good rhyms and poetry that makes since )

the radio song is a load of BS i mean its all about men's and women's body parts and how much they wanna do IT , or how they want it and guys never call a women in a nice way just the B word or the W word and funny thing is they say how much they love this person in a nice way :P
BS u just wanna sing to get the money
lots of swear words over nothing or they just cuss someone
but funny we listen to it cause we hear the good rhyms mixed with shetty ones lol its like eating chicken but it got hot pepper but u know its the only things on the plate and we are bored which makes us hungry
and todays music means nothing

so yeah im searching for positive things i won't let people effect me with their negitivty , they say or do something get me annoyed or hurt i just make my mind go blank and see how shiny their buttons are or wat a nice shirt u got lol
no need for critisizing me lol just relax and calm down lol

so yeah.......... good luck to me

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Aug 8, 2010